A Hogwarts Musical
by EvilLittleNerd1981
Summary: Dumbledore is sick of Lily and James infamous yelling matches. They put up an enchantment that life a musical. The idiots and psychos that inhabit the school make it even more interesting. LE/JP a bit of a crack!fic Strong language. Unfinished
1. Introductions, A speech, and A spell

A Hogwarts Musical: Inspired (sadly) by the Disney Chanel Original Movie High School Musical

The professors at Hogwarts are sick and tired of the infamous shouting matches between Lily Evans and James Potter. They decide to put a temporary, year-long spell that turns arguments into singing and fist-fights into choreography. How can the Marauders and Lily and friends make it through their 7th year with this torture? Find out in: A Hogwarts Musical.

Chapter one: Introductions, a speech, and a spell

Lily Susanna Evans was walking towards the Heads' compartment, wondering who the Head Boy would be. She hoped that it someone she knew. If it was, it would probably be her best guy-friend, Remus Lupin. He had been the Gryffindor Prefect like Lily had been. _Yes_, she thought, _it's probably Remus._

Comforted by the thought of a familiar face, she pushed open the door, but didn't see a pale boy with sandy colored hair. Oh, it was a familiar face alright. But a face that filled her with loathing. It was also a person that was wearing a badge on their cloak. According to this badge, he was head boy. But that was impossible, so Lily knew better. "Potter," she began coldly, "go give the badge back from whoever you stole it from."

He only smiled that absolutely infuriating smile of his and said "See, I can't do that."

"And why the bloody hell not?" Lily snapped.

"Because Professor Dumbledore has finally lost it." Lily was about to reprimand him for saying such a thing about a teacher, but _he_ plowed on. "He made me Head Boy."

_Oh great. Starting off the year with a prank are we? _"Oh ha ha ha, yes, very funny," Lily said, using her tone of voice to indicate it was anything _but_funny. "But I am _so_ not in the mood for one of your annoying little tricks, so go on, tell me who you stole the badge from."

James just sighed and said, "I didn't steal it. It's mine." And he handed her a letter which started with

_Dear Mr. James Potter,_

_We are glad to inform you that you have been made this year's Head Boy…_

Lily was only barely aware of the fact that her mouth was hanging open in disbelief. _But... that's not… how could _he _be_ _the Head Boy?! _James laughed at Lily's incredulous expression, which earned him a rather painful Death Glare from the red head's emerald green eyes.

His own hazel eyes winced for a fraction of a second, but he quickly recovered and shot her a toothy smile. She used the letter to whack him on his head, and skulked out of the compartment towards the Prefect's compartment. James ran his fingers through his raven colored hair and followed. This was going to be a long year…

Lily's POV

In the Great Hall, Lily had once again convinced us to sit as far from the Marauders as possible. (Not before Cami said, "But… They're _so cute_!")Juniper, Cami, Zinni, and I were sitting at the Gryffindor table, each one tuned out the sorting hat.

Juniper was born in America, and both her parents had lived in America their whole lives. She had moved to England when she was five and hardly ever showed her accent. She was a half-blood and was a very smart witch. Juniper had almost been sorted into Ravenclaw, but the Sorting Hat decided she should go to Gryffindor. The Ravenclaw in her was obvious; she always got an O and she did well in everything she tried. She had fair skin, and her face was sprinkled with freckles. Juniper Madison Johnson had soft, dark brown hair that flowed to just above her elbows and kept falling into her electric blue eyes, causing her to tuck the hair behind her ear every now and then, only to have it fall forward again. She was the quiet one, and somewhat the most responsible.

Camilla absolutely hated her name and introduced herself as Cami. Should anyone call her Camilla more than once, she would hex them like they had never been hexed before. She enjoyed making up a few spells along the way, but never actually hurt anyone in the process. Cami had been born into a prim and proper British muggle family, but she proudly considered herself the black sheep, and was anything but prim and proper. Cami was the wildest of the bunch, and had added purple streaks (to match her magically altered purple eyes) to her naturally blond hair, and had it at a shoulder length.

Zinni's POV

I, Zinnia Quartilla Xiomara am from a country called C'Nisi Xiang; no one can really pronounce its name. My parents are a witch (who was a C'Nisi Xiang native) and a wizard (from Surrey), and they sent me to Hogwarts after my old school, Vainamoinen, was closed four years ago. Lily had volunteered to be my guide, and we have been being best friends ever since. I still am still living in C'Nisi Xiang, but I am now going to the school my father went to when he was my age. My three older sisters are living and working in our home country, and I visit them every summer. My nickname is "Zinni", and I prefer staying at Hogwarts for Christmas and Easter to going home. At times I burst into frantic rants in C'Nisese when the Marauders make me extremely angry.

A feast later…

Juniper's POV

Dumbledore stood and the Hall fell silent.

"Welcome to all first years, and to the students returning to Hogwarts, welcome back! Our groundskeeper would like me to remind you that the Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students…"

"Gee, I wouldn't have guessed. Hmm, I wonder if _that's _why it's called the Forbidden Forest?" Cami muttered sarcastically, a mock confused expression on her face. Lily shushed her, but there was a smile on her face. Cami was crazy.

"…new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Ackerley." The girls almost didn't hear the rest of the speech because I nearly spit out the pumpkin juice that was in my mouth and muttered quietly "'Ackerley' means dweller in the mead!"

"Shh!"

"Also, I am to give you a fair warning. All of us professors have combined our heads and have decided to try out a temporary spell here at Hogwarts. For the next school year, please do not be alarmed if your fellow classmates break into song or dance. We have put a spell on the castle so that all the students will behave somewhat like if they were in a musical. A sort of, 'Hogwarts Musical', shall we call it?" The Headmaster's eyes danced at the sea of incredulous and confused faces. But the best were the ones of dawning realization. "Yes, it's quite wonderful, isn't it? Now, should you have shouted arguments," he paused and gave a pointed look, first at Lily then at James, "or perhaps a fist fight some of you find so entertaining," again, a pause, and his gaze was directed towards Cami who innocently whistled, then Sirius, who pulled a 'who, me?!' look, "it will turn to a musical number. Though it is not strictly restricted to those two happenings, those are two of the main reasons we decided to cast this spell. A desire to express an extreme emotion will also trigger it. I think this year will be quite interesting, no? First years, follow your Prefects to your common rooms." He completed his speech with a dismissive air of finality.

_Damn. I hate my singing voice…_

**A/N: This is my first fic, there's bound to be mistakes. My beta is my best friend, and I'm afraid she might not tell me about all my mistakes! So.. R&R! I'm really excited! I feel like a five-year-old... oh wel! check out my profile if you feel like it.**


	2. Haughty hotties and the Pursuit of Cocoa

AHM: ch. II

Chapter 2: Haughty Hotties and the Pursuit of Chocolate

Disclaimer: I only own Cami, Zinni, and Juniper. The song "Shut Up" is from Simple Plan.

Sirius' POV

Look at that. Look. At. That! James is being so _pathetic_! We are in_ the kitchens._ There is a _lot _of _food._ Very _yummy_ food. And all he is doing is moping! And of course sighing, he just sighed. _Get a life!_ Jeez.

Remus looks like he's thinking something similar; the only difference is he's probably using more smartical, bigger words.

Remmy is like that. Smart, I mean. He should be in bloody Ravenclaw. But the Sorting Hat said he belongs in Gryffindor, so whatever. I think he fancies Jupiter or whatever her name is, that girl that hangs out with Cami. She's hot. Cami, of course. I like the color purple.

Prongsie just sighed again. The Double Sigh. Us Marauders have come to recognize the Double Sigh as a sign of 'Lily Troubles'. He's whipped. Well, I'd better get this over with.

I give out a sigh of my own. "Prongs, what happened with Lils now?"

"Huh?"

"Oh yes Prongs, how very intelligent."

"We're being serious, James." YES! I can make my serious/Sirius joke now! But... no. Remmy gave me that look that says 'Crack the joke and die.' Moony can be hostile if you don't have chocolate to placate him. Oh yeah! I know smartical words too!

Prongsie-poo sighs again. "Are all beautiful girls so _mean_?"

Me and Moony answered at the same time:

"Yup."

"Of course not."

"What are you talking about—"

"What are you talking about—"

"Just look at Cami!"

"Just look at Juniper!"

I smack my forehead. "_That's _her name! I knew it started with a 'J'! Wait. You just admitted you fancy her!"

"No! I didn't! I just said she was pretty!"

Wormtail has joined my side and says "No, you said she was beautiful!"

"Shut up." Remus is talking quietly, and his face is changing colors. It's turning pink!

What the… James is humming… Oh shiz nitz!

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" _The spell! The spell!_ But I was too late…

Peter blurted out

"Don't want to hear it."

Moony stood straight, eyes wide as he realized what was happening. It was apparently his turn, as words started pouring out of his mouth:

"Get out, get out, get out  
Get out of my way  
Step up, step up, step up  
You'll never stop me  
Nothing you say today  
Is gonna bring me down"

James's own eyes were growing wide, but before he could break into song, he stomped on everyone's feet, and we stomped on his, and none of us were singing.

Moony however, got up, and was heading towards the door. "Where are you going?"

"After you guys harassing me, I need some chocolate."

James looked up right after Remus left. _He was daydreaming this whole time?!_"Hey, where'd Moony go?"

I shrugged, "He's off on a pursuit of chocolate."

"Err… ok…"

James left for the Heads Dorm, mumbling something like "Padfoot's lost it…"

"DID I EVER HAVE IT?" I shouted after him. Prongs laughed. "Probably not."

**A/N: I'm seriously not happy with this chapter. Really. It embarrasses me.**


	3. He’s over her! Murder at breakfast?

AHM ch III

Ch. 3: He's over her! Early morning torture! Murder at breakfast?

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone except Cami, Zinni and Juniper. I don't even own the song "East Northumberland High". Miley Cyrus does.

.:Lily's POV:.

Just when I got used to the idea that I'd have to work with Potter all year, I find out we have our own common room. Just. Us. _Alone_. We have to share a _bathroom_. The place where I have to take showers. Every morning. No doubt that bloody git is going to come peeking in. GAH! How could Dumbledore do this to me?!

I'll have to live here for the rest of the year. _And so will Potter!_

_And here's the prat himself._ "Potter," I greeted, if it could be called that, my voice was ice cold. "Hello Lily!" James entered cheerfully. _Why does he have to be so damned cheery?_

"So, Lily, I was thinking—"

"Why are you insisting on bothering me, Potter?!"

James looked nonplussed. That is so infuriating! "Uh, I was just wondering whether—"

"Potter, what's your problem?! You are so immature! You think you're so cool! You run around like you--Uh, Potter? Why are you tapping your foo—oh crap…"

He started sinigng:

"My problem isn't that I miss you,  
Cause I don't.  
My problem isn't that I kissed you,  
Whoa oh, oh.

You're just caught in a place,  
which time will erase in my heart."

_Oh, yeah?! Well, I'm just gonna have to say:_

"You're my type of guy I guess,  
If I was stuck in East Northumberland High,  
For the rest of my life,  
But people change,"

So apparently he had to say,

"Thank God I did.  
Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you now,  


Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you..."

Grrr...

So I said

"Your problem's not for lack of trying,  
Cause you do.  
It's just that you're at your best when you're lying.  
Whoa oh, oh.

Now you're standing here,  
And saying things you think I wanted to hear,"

.:James POV:.

_When I'm lying?! _

My turn!

"But you got it all wrong,  
I've already moved on, My dear.

Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you now,  
Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you...

When you're standing near me,  
I don't see so clearly,  
The feelings are still powerful,  
But when I take two steps away,  
It sheds some light on my day,  
Yeah you can't go back,  
It's all in the past,  
Guess you gotta laugh at it!"

She looked kind of surprised but scoffed all the same.

"You're my type of guy I guess,  
If I was stuck in East Northumberland High,  
For the rest of my life,  
But people change,"

"Thank God I did."

I could see her anger flaring.

"Well if there's some confusion,  
Let me tell ya you're just delusional,  
Get a clue,"

Let's see...

"Cause people change,  
Thank God I did,  
Thank God I did,  
Thank God I did.

Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you now,  
Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you,  
(Doesn't mean I like you.)  
Just because I liked you back then,  
It doesn't mean I like you now..."

And Lily stormed out of the room, leaving me with part of me feeling guilty, and part of me trying to make the first part be mad, and the last (and smallest) part shouting "Go after her and apologize!" But the biggest and strongest was the first, so I sat in the new common room, my own guilt drowning me until I couldn't stand it and went to bed.

.:The next day…:.

.:Juniper's POV:.

All was peaceful in the 7th year girl's dorm in Gryffindor tower…

That is, they were until—

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP YOU OVER-SLEEPING LAZY BUTTS!"

My eyes flew open. I know that voice… I looked up and saw Lily towering over the bed next to me, Cami's. She tried to look stern, but you could tell she enjoyed torturing us… but wait. Isn't she sleeping in a different dorm?

Cami's groggy voice interrupted my thought. "Nooooo… I thought we were free… what the hell are you doing here?! I deserve a full night's sleep!" The evil red head scoffed.

"You had a full night's sleep! Not to mention a full morning's! Breakfast is almost over!"

In the next minute, our dorm was filled with Lily's uncontrollable (evil) laugh, and three scrambling girls hurrying to get ready. By the time we got downstairs, Lily's laughing had died down to a grin and we were all fully ready except for Zinni, her hair was all over the place… out of all of us she's normally the first one awake, as it takes her a long time to be able to control it. After frantically trying to brush it, she gave up, twisting all her hair into a bun and used a clip to keep it there.

* * *

It's amazing how two friends can be so different from each other… Cami, putting a shrinking spell on her skirt, and Zinni, making her skirt longer than anyone else's.

Lily was in an overly good mood… which meant she was miserable on the inside. Of course Cami, being the genius she is, still hasn't realized this… even after knowing Lily for 7 years. She never ceases to amaze me. Then again, she and Zinni are still half asleep. Leave it up to the nerd.

I knew my guesses were right when we had to pass the Marauders and Lily cringed.

"Lily. You're going to have to talk to him. All year, actually. Don't you think it would be better if you two were on good terms?" Lily looked at me, surprised and then shot me a death glare, going on to poke at her pancakes. It's so funny! She always hates when I'm right!

.:Lily's POV:.

I hate when she's right.

.:Cami's POV:.

IIIII aammmm soooo tiiiiiirrrred. Like I always am. Because Lily has been our evil little alarm clock since first year. I really should be used to it by now. Hmm… oh, there's Sirius and the other Marauders. He's hot. Even if he is a great big arse.

I wonder what's Lily's problem. Five seconds ago, she was little-miss-Everything-is-totally-awesome-I'm-having-a-great-morning-cause-i-tortured-you-first-thing, and now she looks pissed.

Oh my gosh. She's not eating her pancakes. She has a secret obsession with pancakes!

Okay Cami, think back… when did she first start being non-cheerful? Um, when we left the common room, she was talking about our charms homework all happy, when we passed Sirius, she… stopped taking! But… she "settled her differences" with him last year when she found out about him being disowned. Hmm… Remus is her friend I guess… Peter is just a loser. That only leaves… "JAMES!" Oh. I just said that out loud didn't I?

Yup. Cause Lily's hiding under the table, and Juniper is glaring at me, and Zinni is looking at me in this I'm-so-sleepy-why-did-you-just-yell kind of way. Oh crap. I. Am. So. Dead.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

.:Lily's POV:.

She. Is. So. Dead.

.:Juniper's POV:.

So. Let's re-cap shall we?

Lily has some sort of bad feelings towards a certain James Potter. Oh, wow, big surprise.

I figured it out and Lily didn't eat her pancakes which is very unusual for her.

Cami finally figured it out and finished her thinking out loud, causing James to look our way which caused Lily to hide under the table and somehow scare Cami, which caused Cami to run and Lily to run after her.

Lily should pass waking-up duty to me.

.:Lily's POV:.

I should pass waking up duty to Juniper. I am going to _kill_ Cami.

.:Zinni's POV:.

I am not getting quite what is happening… Cami is having a loud yelling voice this morning.

.:Peter's POV:.

Huh?

**A/N: This is actually the song that gave me the idea of this story, sooo... yeah. REVIEW, or I won't know how you feel about it!**


	4. Two more songs and Damning Dumbledore

AHM ch 4

Chapter 4: Two more songs while Damning Dumbledore

**A/N: I dedicate this chapter to… **

**ajteel0203**

**audrhole**

**padfootrocks001**

**cls4ever**

**Inklover101****, and**

**loquacious-girl**

**for reviewing! Extra thanks goes to loquacious-girl for being my Beta!**

Disclaimer: HAHAHAHA! You thought I owned it! The first song is "Those Were the Days" by Lady Sovereign. The second one is "Everything Back But You" by Avril Lavigne. I only own the girls! (Juniper, Cami, Zinni!)

.: Lily's POV:.

Tonight was a full moon… I hope Remus is all right… I hate just waiting here! But I'm not an animagus, it's not like I can just run out there and help. THE DOOR IS OPENING!!

A few minutes earlier

.:James' POV:.

Ouch. Ow-ow-ow. Ouch. Moony wasn't in a good mood today. Well who could blame him? He tried to ask out Juniper, and she ran away from him the way he always worried people would if they knew he was a werewolf.

Better come in as quietly as possible…

"Wo--aah!"

"Well?! Don't just stand there, tell me how it— JAMES INSERT-MIDDLE-NAME-HERE POTTER SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!" She was shrieking…. _Shrieking_. I plopped down onto an armchair by the fire. She's so 

pretty when she's frustrated. I should know, I saw her during out Transfiguration O.W.L.S. Hmm. She's waving her wand and talking quietly… ooh! It doesn't hurt anymore!

"Now, James Potter. You are going to tell me exactly how it went or—", she didn't need to finish her sentence. She just waved her wand menacingly.

"Uhhhh… how what went?" She couldn't know….

"James. I know. Now SPEAK BOY, SPEAK!"

We're sorry; James' brain has just stopped functioning. Now back to the regularly scheduled program.

"Uh… It went good?"

"Good." Lily sat down in the chair across from me and crossed her arms. "You thought I wouldn't notice? How dumb do you think I am?"

"I-I-I—when did you figure it out?!"

"The year before Zinni transferred here. How about you?"

"Uh… our second year actually…"

"How long did it take to become an _illegal_ animagus?"

"Er, a school year—we could transform by October, third year

Lily started nodding, and I began to realize that she had been waiting to ask these questions for a while.

"So basically this is what you've been up to. Other than pranks of course." She said the last part bitterly… how could she be so pretty, yet so… jump-to-conclusion-y?

"Well, yeah, if by 'this' you mean trying to protect Moony and make transformations easier on him. The pranks were kind of a cover-up, but Sirius got really in to it. I guess you know what our nicknames mean then?"

"Yeah, but I had to guess with Peter's 'cause from windows, it just looked like he disappeared." Awkward pause… well it was awkward for me. She was just deep in thought.

"Well… how's your life been?"

"Huh, well, let's see… putting up with my bitch of a sister, leaving behind childhood, dealing with the fact that a guy killed my dad, and ditch my arse of a boyfriend who cheated on me with my _former_ friend, and then I find out that you're the Head Boy to my Head Girl, and I have decided to act civilly towards you, call you James, and—"

Wait wait wait _wait_ WAIT! She's gonna call me James? But—hey!

"Who's your ex?" I was pissed, and didn't bother trying to hide it.

"He's a Muggle. He made off with my Muggle friend. They began to guess my sister was right when she called me a freak."

My temper boiled to a new level. "You are anything _but_ a freak. You're _perfect_."

Lily sat up straight. Uhhh.. Isn't that what happens when… oh crap…

.:Lily's POV:.

I can't help but roll my eyes. I know what's happening. I wonder what I'm singing _this_ time.

"We used to play jump the line,  
Or who could wrap the swing around the frame the most times, back in the day,  
Riding our bike around the estate and playin' basketball in the cage, those were the days,  
I remember them water fights, the tap outside,  
Bopped to the shops bought about ten ice pops,  
The weather was hot so they melted in our pockets,  
Used to carry my belongings in them McDonalds bumbags,  
That was back then, so boy don't mock it.

Stayed out till it was pitch black, And I never got bitch-slapped,"

My eyes went wide. Why would I get 'bitch-slapped'?!

"I seen a couple of mans get stabbed,  
Been chased by the mad man,"

I felt tears trailing down my cheeks… The pictures of… _that night _flashed in my mind's eye. Damn Dumbledore…

"Gotta get back so I can…  
Catch a joke with my next door neighbor,  
We played the first Mortal Kombat on the Sega,  
Playing the lastest jungle tunes we had on cassette,  
Those were the days I will never forget.."

Is it over?

"That day was the worst day I went through hell  
I wish I could remove it from my mind!"

Guess not…

"Two months away from you but I couldn't tell  
I thought that everything was gonna be just fine.

Then I got...

The post card that you wrote with the stupid little note  
Something wasn't quite right about it  
It smelt like cheap perfume  
And it didnt smell like you  
There is no way you can get around it  
Because you wrote

I wish you were her  
You left out the 'E'  
You left without me  
And now you're somewhere out there  
With a hey, hey, psycho babe  
I hate you, why are guys so lame  
Everything I gave you I want everything back but you!"

I inwardly groaned. Why am I singing about that loser?!

"My friends tried to tell me all along  
That you werent the right one for me  
My friends tried to tell me to be strong  
I bet you didnt think that I would see

The postcard that you wrote  
With the stupid little note  
Something wasn't quite right about it  
I wanna see you cry  
Like I did a thousand times  
Now you're losing me, you're losing me now

Because of the..

The postcard that you wrote  
With the stupid little note  
Something wasn't quite right about it  
It smelled like cheap perfume  
And it didnt smell like you  
There is no way you can get around it

Because you wrote

I wish you were her  
You left out the 'E'  
You left without me  
Everything back but you

I wish you were her  
You left out the 'E'  
You left without me  
Everything back but you..."

James' POV

No! She's crying! DAMN YOU DUMBLEDORE! Who… Who's she singing about? Oh. My. Gosh. She's singing about that _bastard_ that cheated on her! I think the song's over…

"Oomf!"

Uh-huh it's over…

* * *

Narrator

And Lily collapsed into James' arms. The confused teenager picked her up and gently carried her to her crimson room and lay her on her bed.

_What do I do?! What do I do?!_

"Damn you, Dumbledore!"

**A/N: This is kind of my way of making them get to know each other, or at least Lily's life. **

**NO, James does _not_ sleep with Lily!! Don't even think that! He's a gentleman remember?**

**Post a review with your favorite quote so far. Post a review with some ideas for fluff in the next chapter. Post a review saying "Ha-ha, you suck!" JUST POST A REVIEW!! **

**Love it? Like it? Absolutely despise it? Let me know so I can make it work!**


	5. Such a horrid sight for such pretty eyes

AHM chapter 5

Chapter 5: Such a horrible sight for such beautiful eyes.

**A/N: Hello my people! If you thought the last chapter was confusing, your questions will soon be answered. I dedicate this chapter to… everyone who reads this! You are sticking with my story! Yay! Well I can't think of much else to say… so ON WITH THE STORY!**

* * *

In the girls' dorm…

.:Juniper's POV:.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS GONNA ASK ME OUT! Seriously, the idea was waaaaay down there on the list of possibilities. So… I was avoiding him. I know, I know. For a genius, I'm really dumb.

Remus is, is sweet, and smart, and, and ARGH! I was so _stupid!_ I like him, I know he wouldn't willingly hurt me, and he tries to ask me out, and I _RUN_! I. Am. So. _Stupid_!

There is only one way. I need to ask Cami for advice.

I never thought this day would come!

.:Cami's POV:.

I always knew this day would come!

Juniper, the genius, the all-knowing, has come to me, Cami, the dumb-blonde, the girl who is so wacky and crazy, the world can't handle me. And she is coming to confess that she is _not_ all knowing!

.:Juniper's POV:.

She isn't making it any easier on me. She's just standing there, playing dumb. I hate it when she plays the 'dumb-blonde' card. She's really smart, in her own way. That _is _why I'm here after all.

"Cami, don't make me do this."

"Oh-ho, I am _so_ gonna make you do this."

"Fine. I was wrong, you were right, I am not all-knowing, and I need your help. NOW BE AN ACTUAL FRIEND AND HELP ME!"

She settled down onto her bed and made room for me.

"Okay, okay, calm down now. All you have to do is answer all the questions I ask you honestly and as fast as you can. It will seem ridiculous, but it always works. Are you ready?"

I just nodded and sat down. Who knew what she could be thinking.

"Do you like chocolate?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Do you like vanilla ice cream?"

"Ew, I hate vanilla."

"Do you like books?"

"Love books."

"Would you pick your best friend or boyfriend?"

"DUH, best friend!"

"Would you become a teacher?"

"I can barely deal with kids _now_."

"Would you ever cut your hair short or add streaks?"

"Noooo. Neh. Vur."

"Would you do anything for a dare?"

"Not anything."

"Do you love Remus?"

"Yes—I mean—How'd you do that?!"

How could she?! How could I? I never even knew—I _love_ him?!

This is going to be interesting. I wish she'd wipe that smug look off her face already.

* * *

In the Head's Common Room…

.:James' POV:.

I've been sitting out here all night… are you supposed to wake an unconscious person? I forget… what if you are, and I let Lily die last night?!

That's it. I'm just going to go in. But I'll knock first.

Ok…

I think if I knock three times I should just go in right?

"Uh… Lily? Are you up? Liiiilyyyy? Lily please don't be dead!"

"James?"

YES! SHE'S ALIVE! But… NO, she's crying again! "Lily? What's wrong? Unless you don't want to tell me, that's okay too." I didn't want her to get mad at me just when she had decided to be friends. Or civil or whatever.

"No, it's okay James. I can talk to you… I think I kind of showed you that last night," she laughed. She was laughing! This is a good sign. I sat down next to her and noticed, for probably the millionth time this year, how beautiful her eyes were, like little emeralds.

_James! Listen to what she's going to tell you! _But… eyes… _She is confiding in you!_ Huh? Oh! Right!

I was lucky. She hadn't started talking yet. But she was taking deep, shaky breaths.

"I—I'm sorry. I haven't talked about it since it happened. See, my dad was a police officer. You know what police officers are?"

I just nodded.

"Well, one day… he was going out to chase a guy who had committed murder. But he had taken me to work with him. I was a first year, it was Christmas break, I hadn't exactly learned a shield spell yet, not to mention the thing that was drilled deepest into my mind was that if we used magic out of school we would be in trouble. I always thought my dad was invincible… well when we got there, we were the only ones there except one other officer. I was in the back seat and my dad told me to stay. So I stayed. And I saw… I-saw-my-dad-and-his-friend-get-stabbed. I screamed… boy was that dumb!"

She let out a laugh, but it was hollow.

"The guy turned and saw me. I got out and ran, and ran, and ran. I heard footsteps pounding behind me until I got back to the station…"

By this time I was holding her. Just cradling her.

"I'm sorry James. Can I go back to sleep?"

I couldn't talk, I just nodded.

How could the world let such a horrible sight fall upon such beautiful eyes?

* * *

Lily's dream…

She was running, running, and the man was getting closer…

"Lily! Lily!"

How could he know her name? She tried to push herself faster, but the harder she tried the slower she went.

And she was in his arms. She looked up and saw comforting hazel eyes and messy, black hair.

And she was safe.

**A/N: I know, not my longest ever chapter. But I had run out of ideas -pout-. Speaking of which, thanks to ****loquacious-girl**** for being the best beta/idea-prompter ever! (And don't worry audrhole, I'll be using your great suggestion too!)**


	6. The Psycos Are Back

* * *

Disowner: I only own Zinni Juniper, Cami, RF4E, and "dogs playing poker with a clapping monkey". the last one only because the person that said it originally said i could use it and take credit.

I'm just gonna dedicate this chapter to him, it's random and insane just like he is, that little retard (smiles at how he'd laugh if he read this)!

A/N: Before you kill me for the heinous crime of a delayed update, I want to say I have a good excuse. I just finished moving into my new house, and I had to live without computer for a week. During this time I realized that I am hopelessly obsessed with computers and fanfiction, and that I would die if I existed in the time before JK put out the first HP book. (Not to mention even if I did survive it would be dull and I wouldn't even know what I was missing! The horror...)

Okay, this chapter just came to me. Some of it is based on my experience, but with a minor twist.

Yes my experiences are strange, but they are also rather hilarious, as is proved in this chapter.

P.S. (Pre Script and don't even try to tell me such a thing doesn't exist!)

During the song:

**bold is Juniper**

_italic is Lily_

underlined is Cami

normal is Zinni

**_all of the above is all in unison_**

Not that it really matters. Thanks!

* * *

Lily and Zinni were worried. They weren't particularly sure _why--_Well, no. They knew that they were worried because Juniper was mad at Cami which was strange and frightening for two reasons; a) They were best friends and hardly ever fought, and b) on the rare occasion that they _did _get into an argument, Juniper was always the one who was very reasonable about it and said arguments lenth merely depended on how long it took for Cami to see reason and declare it as her own idea. But now, Juniper was the one who refused to speak to anyone about it and refused to admit that she was anywhere near wrong and that maybe it _was _her fault that they weren't speaking. Meanwhile, Cami was the one rolling her eyes speaking her own version of Juniper's "Cami's being unreasonable" speech. "She's just being a dumbass. She'll get over it."

)()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

minor flash back- background

)()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

Normally the four friends were the happiest, and most random group of girls seen in Hogwarts, which was certainly saying something. They didn't mind if they looked like complete phsycos, as long as they had fun in the process. Lily remembered the day back in third year when they had declared themselves Random Friends 4ever (due to the fact there were now four (4) girls). They had been sitting in Charms and heard a group of Hufflepuff talking, but had only caught snippets of their conversations. "...dogs... playing… poker... clapping monkey..." Zinnia had later asked Lily, Cami and Juniper what 'Dogs playing poker with a clapping monkey" was, and whether it was a fun game. The four had found it hilarious after a confused Lily had explained that it wasn't a game, just a random phrase. Later they had been known to take turns shouting the words (one of them would yell "DOGS" another would yell "PLAYING" so that another of the four would yell "POKER" the fourth would yell "WITH A", the first would once again yell, but this time the words "CLAPPING" and all of them in unison would shout at the top of their lungs, **"MONKEY!"**) and some had actually gone to professors and asked them whether the girls could be transferred to an asylum where their "special needs could be better taken care of".

Upon hearing this, Lily had been furious and with Cami's help (and original _"insano"_curse, which caused the victim to babble incoherently) hexed all those who had so much as thought such things about them, severity varying on how crazy they thought the girls were. The only students other than the four girls who weren't hexed were Remus Lupin and James "Toerag"Potter. After Zinni had commented that she felt sorry for him, getting such a strange middle name and Lily had explained that it wasn't his name, but it should be etc, etc, James found new appreciation for the girls' prank/hex. Later Lily asked Remus (her friend since she had nearly 'busted' him for being with the Marauders during one of their more major pranks be fore realizing that he was innocent) why he hadn't gotten all mad like he had at the group of rather mischievous Ravenclaws the year before who had set a hex on anyone who had broken any school rules recently, resulting in James, Sirius and Peter turning neon pink, green, and yellow (in that order). Laughing she had asked if it was because this time _he_ hadn't been hexed, but Remus with a completely serious face had said "No Lily. It's because _you_ set it, even if he had been hexed, once he found out it was _you_that cast it, he would have been perfectly cheerful about it. That is, once he could speak properly." He had smiled briefly at the memory of the countless students being sent out of class for the incomprehensible mumbling the proffessors had become rather frightened of before continuing. "He fancies you, and by the way he talks about-- and I quote 'eyes that are prettier than emeralds and red hair aflame'. Yes, he actually used the word aflame."

Ever since, she hadn't had a moment of peace. ONce he knew that she knew, he pestered her to no end. His friends (save Remus of course) were being the biggest nuisances the girls had ever expeirienced, and Zinni had three older sisters who loved to annoy her, not to mention Lily had oh-so loving Petunia. Her friends had immediately taken her side, of course. Zinni was glad to teach Lily C'nisese curse words which Cami later transferred into rather useful hexes. Juniper tried to remain neutral but if necessary, she would take Lily's side in an instant.

And thus began the seemingly never-ending fued between the Marauders and RF4E.

)()()()()()()()()()()()()()(

Back to the present, Lily and Zinni missed the random days and reached a silent agreement that they would try to bring the random-ness back. Surely Cami and Juniper wouldn't be able _not_ to join in!

And so, during breakfast in the Great Hall...

Lily picked up a banana and put one end to her ear and the other to her mouth. Zinni caught on and mimicked the action.

Lily smiled. This was going to be fun.

"Brrrring. Brrrring. Hey Zin!"

"Hi-low Lil!"

"Dogs..."

"Playing..."

"Poker..."

"With..."

"A..."

"Clapping..."

"MONKEY!"

As they had in the pst the two girls shouted the last word in unison, bursting into giggles after.

"What are you doing with those bananas?" Juniper asked, sounding rather bored and not bothering to look up. Secretly she wanted to join in but she didn't let on.

She was very good at hiding it, and Lily temporarily panicked. But Zinni, random as ever, acted as though Juniper had uttered the deepest and worst of all insults.

"It is _not_ just a banana!"

This caused Juniper and Cami to look up simultaneously, both with grins tugging at the corner of their mouths but doing their best to look solemn. Juniper spoke first. "Oh it isn't?" Cami smiled full on which caused Juniper to smile as well, and the former asked, "What exactly is it then?" Lily knew what to say this time. "Why, it's a banana phone!" Cami and Juniper had obviously decided to put aside the argument as Juniper sang out,

**"Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!"**

Cami's smile only grew larger and she belted out,

"Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!"

Zinni held up her banana,

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring"

**_"Banana phone!"_**

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring"

**_"Banana phone!"_**

_"I've got this feeling, so appealing,_

_for us to get together and sing."_

**_"Sing!"_**

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring... banana phone!"

"Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone!"

**"It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,"** (she hunched her shoulders when she sang 'hunches')

_"It's the best! Beats the rest!"_

"Cellular, modular, interactivodular!"

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone!"

"Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!"

**"Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone"**

_"It's no baloney,"_

"It ain't a phony!"

_"My cellular_, **_bananular phone!"_**

"Don't need quarters, don't need dimes,

to call a friend of mine!"

"Don't need computer or TV,

to have a real good time!"

"I'll call for pizza. "

_"I'll call my cat."_

**"I'll call the white house,"**

_"Have a chat!"_

"I'll place a call around the world, operator get me Beijing-jing-jing-jing!"

(Soprano Sax Solo) (Strangly the girls didn't bother to wonder where the music was coming from.)

"Yeah!"

**"Play that thing!"**

(Piano Solo)

_"Whooo Hooo!"_

"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring"

**_"Banana phone,"_**

"Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop"

"Ying yang ying yang ying yang ying yonana phone!"

_"It's a real live mama and papa phone,"_

"a brother and sister and a dogaphone,"

"a grandpa phone and a--"

**"grammophone too!"**

**_"Oh yeah!"_**

_"My cellular, **bananular phone!"**_

"Banana phone, ring ring ring!"

**"It's a phone with a peel!"**

"Banana phone, ring ring ring!"

_"Now you can have your phone and eat it too!"_

"Banana phone, ring ring ring!"

(Someone at the teacher's table called out "This song drives _me_ bananas!")

"Banana phone, ring ring ring!"

"Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop-doop-doop!"

For a moment, the Great Hall was silent, but once that moment had passed, it erupted in laughter. None was as loud as RF4E, and Cami screamed, "THE PSHYCOS ARE BACK!"

And indeed they were.

A/N: If you would like to hunt me down for daring to post such a short chapter after so long a delay, press one.

If you would like to question my sanity, tell me how strange my friends are or something else regarding random-ness shown in this chapter, press post a review.

If you would like to me to move on with the story and post a chapter, press post a review.

If you have never in your life heard this song and you want to hear it, go to you tube and search "potter puppet pals bananaphone". Its where I first heard it and it's pretty funny.

I am going to enable anonymous reviews because I think I'll just get more that way.

Forever random,

Luci

a.k.a (on this site at least,) The Evil Little Nerd


	7. Advice and Questions

Of advice, questions and the glory of magic.

**A/N: Quite honestly, I have no purpose or plot whatsoever. I'm sorry. If you are looking for a story that makes remote sense, I'm sorry you wasted your time on the past six chapters. **_**But**_**, if you don't mind randomness (and okay-ish writing and absence of plot) KEEP READING! Basically, I'm taking songs I enjoy and forcing them into the story somehow. I know how this will end and (obviously) how it began, the point and fun of it is the filling in the spaces in-between...**

**This kind of affects the frequency of my updates... super sorry! Well, I'm not sure if you're holding a torch or a pitchfork, but I have a feeling I should stop now.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would be rich, have a room filled with books entirely, switch (and maybe stop going to) schools, and invite all my friends to live with me in my actually nice house. Also, my name **_**wouldn't**_** be Luci. It would be more like J.K. Rowling, or one of the Spice Girls.**

Cami and Juniper weren't mad at each other anymore, as you may have guessed. They had alot of fun with "Bananaphone", and they couldn't stay angry.

However, the first, second, and some third years, did not find it fun. In fact, since they didn't know Lily and her friends when they were openly strange, they found it rather frightening. Really, how often do you see a group of girls jump up on the breakfast table and start singing "Bananaphone"? But everyone else just smiled, remembering old times.

The times before fifth year…

It couldn't have been the new position as Prefect. At the beginning of the year she had been as strange and out there as ever. But towards the middle of the year, she had been so serious, so solemn, so… _boring_. Those less perceptive than others (cough, PETER, cough) had no idea what could have possibly caused such a dramatic change in disposition. However, thankfully, majority of the school was not quite as hopelessly thick. They caught that it didn't just happen out of nowhere. Such a transformation was impossible to happen so quickly. No, it had a reason. And those who were particularly understanding realized that it really should have been expected. Her best friend of over five years had called her by the "M" word. How could she just jump back up and be perfectly happy?

But she got lots of support from her Gryffindor friends, especially from Juniper, Cami and Zinni. Zinnia had been through her fair share of ridicule and prejudice, coming from a completely different country and having a rather distinct accent. Cami was Muggle-Born herself and absolutely despised any prejudice of any sort. (It sent her into a blind rage. Once she heard what Snape had done to Lily, it took every ounce of self-control, rope, and a firm "sit" from a very serious Lily to keep her from killing him in his sleep.) Juniper agreed that the whole "Slytherins are all from hell" thing was ridiculous, and had supported Lily completely with her friendship with Severus, respected her decision to give him a second chance even after they had realized he was hanging out with… to put it nicely, a bad crowd. She understood that it was hard for Lily to give him a second chance, only for him to slip further… Mary MacDonald (the 

girl who shared their dorm) had "seen it coming". But her point of view was understandable, after what Sev's "friends" did to her. Alice agreed. She was an overall nice girl, but she too believed in the prejudice against Slytherins thing. Mary and Alice were good little Gryffindors; they didn't go scaring innocent people with randomness…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

While Lily was being somewhat civil to James, under no circumstances was she falling for him. Yet. Cami still hated Sirius. He had been a victim of her most Lily-like hate since he had told her that Lily was being a bi—beautiful person, and that she, Lily, Zinni and Juniper were all doomed for hell. Some say they brought it on themselves, transforming the Marauders into the girl versions of themselves, but hey, who knows how it happened.

He knew this. But he didn't like it.

Remus knew something was up. He was a rather perceptive person, but that wasn't why he noticed that something was wrong with his slightly deranged friend. You see, he wasn't the only one worried.

James noticed.

Most of the Gryffindors noticed.

The Ravenclaws noticed.

The Hufflepuffs noticed.

The Slytherins noticed with gleeful smiles.

Even _Peter_ noticed!

Needless to say, Sirius didn't bother hiding that he was actually upset.

Well back to Remus. He knew his friend needed to talk. He must after being so quiet since breakfast. Of yesterday.

"Sirius?"

"Mmm?"

"What's wrong?"

"Fine, fine, how's yours so far?"

"Uh… Padfoot?"

"What Remus?" Sirius asked, somewhat irritated but seemingly to finally be paying attention.

"I asked you 'what's wrong' and you answered 'fine'. I ask again, what's wrong?"

"What makes you think something's wrong?"

"Well, Snape just walked by, and you didn't trip him, hex him, curse him, or toss him an insult."

Sirius realized what had happened and hurriedly turned to see Snape frequently shooting confused glances behind him. "Oh… uh… that…."

"Not just 'that'. You've been quiet since the 'bananaphone incident'." Remus raised his eyebrows pointedly, indicating that he wasn't going to drop it.

Sirius didn't care. He would make Remus leave it alone.

"I had some bad pancakes." He immediately mentally slapped himself. Only Peter would believe that.

But to his surprise, Remus only muttered "This school and pancakes…" Seeing Sirius' somewhat relieved expression he quickly added "Everyone looks to pancakes for excuses. Padfoot….. You're pulling a Prongs…"

At this thought Sirius' eyes widened, then returned to their normal…. width.

"I just don't get it… I think…" Remus silently prayed that Sirius didn't think he was in love too. Not that he didn't want his friends to be happy, but after James' fanaticism he didn't think he could take another one.

"I don't get Cami…" _Shit._ "…or myself…" Relief flooded through Remus. He knew what to do. He only hoped no one would get hurt….

"Ask both of you what you want."

"Huh?"

"Ask yourself, what do you want? Ask Cami what she wants. People usually like talking about themselves, ask her questions, be interested in what she has to say."

It made sense…. "Thanks, Remus!"

Remus laughed quietly at his friends lit up face, like a kid in a well-stocked candy shop.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sirius was determined to try out Remus' plan. At breakfast he asked

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yes, but I don't see how this is any of your business."

"Why not eat waffles?"

"I don't want waffles."

"Ok then… how about some bacon? Eggs, maybe?"

"I don't want bacon or eggs."

It went on for hours. During Charms, it went on. In History of magic, it continued. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, he snapped.

Most people would think that in class, this would be rather unwise, but this teacher was rather frightened of kids. He really was quite a wimp. He ignored any interruptions, though he did have rather interesting things to say so most people paid him attention.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT THEN?!" Sirius bellowed, standing as he spoke. Or rather, hollered. There was always a first time for everything, and this was the first time Remus had given him bad advice.

"What do _I_ want? What do _you _want?! You won't bloody leave me alone!"

"I want to know what _you_ want!"

Cami glared her special glare as her mouth jumped open…

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,"

Sirius rolled his eyes,**  
**"So tell me what you want, what you really really want",

"I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,"

"So tell me what you want, what you really really want,"

"I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna sing this song."

Sirius gave her an exasperated look,

"Now don't go wasting my precious time,"

"Get your act together, we could be just fine  
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,"

Lily jumped in, **(1)**  
"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is."

Cami raised her arms as if to say 'Bring it!'  
"What do you think about that, now you know how I feel,"

Zinni stood and cocked her head to the side,

"Sayin' you can handle my love, are you for real,"

Cami felt rather awkward, but Sirius' face was just priceless!

"I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try  
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.

Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,"

"So tell me what you want, what you really really want!"

"I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha."

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,"

"Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is," Lily chimed in once more before Cami continued.

"So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me  
you gotta listen carefully,"

And Zinni sang again

"We got Cam in the place who likes it in your face,  
we got J like MC who likes it on an  
Li-ly doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,  
and as for me…Eh maybe,"

And Lily and Zinni stood, joining Cami;  
"Slam your body down and wind it all around  
Slam your body down and wind it all around."

And Cami ended it:  


"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you  
gotta,  
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down zigazig ah!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

After class had let out, Peter had told James all the happenings. James may be growing up, but he hasn't grown up.

Therefore, naturally, between Prongs and Padfoot, the 'whole school' had heard that Cami "wanted Sirius to 'slam his body down and wind it all around!'"

Therefore, naturally, between Zinni and Cami, the 'whole school' had been cursed under the newly created "_fofocas_" spell. Each time they opened their mouth, it would swell up to be the size of (or nearly the size of,) their head.

Ah, the wonderful glory of magic.

**A/N:**

**1: Lily, Zinni, Sirius, Peter and Cami are in that class together. Juniper, James and Remus have Herbology together, so Remus had no idea how badly his plan was going…**

**I actually have had this done for a while, but I wanted to make it longer, and then I kept forgetting, so...**

**Okay. I know. My iPod contains a rather… interesting variety of songs. Spice Girls, Papa Roach, Jurassic 5 (YES, these are hints!)**

**Before I go, (and before you do too,) I want you to go to "Changes", a Lily and James fic, not written by me, written by a very awesome writer... It should be an interesting difference! (Story id: 4223889)**

**Oh, I'd also be interested in any suggestions for Quidditch commentary. I have a song in mind for that… but, still, ideas are welcome!**

**Please post review. Even if its just a "ok story" review I'll be happy!**

**ONE MORE THING!**

**I'm failing English. Not surprising, is it? Anyway, I talked to my teacher and she said she'd be willing to grade **_**this**_** for extra credit. I'm going to "censor" out the curse words, but is there anything else I should change before turning it in? I'd really appreciate any suggestions!**

**Before I force you to join my ranks of insanity,**

**Luci**

**a.k.a. **

**Evil Little Nerd**


	8. Of Memories, Quidditch and Commentary

**AHM ch 8**

**Of Memories, Quidditch and Commentary.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Harry Potter, or Peter Pettigrew. Get this into your minds: They. Belong. To. J.K. Rowling. Tell me you knew that, I beg of you! **

**Other than a bit of lyric tweakage, the song "The Game" belongs to Jurassic 5.**

**A/N are at the bottom, so get to reading!**

"Cami, they _are_ my friends now, you know," Lily said, sending a pointed (though amused) glance towards her purple-loving friend on the way to the Common Room after the end of classes for the day.

"Yeah, _how_ exactly did that happen?! You went from The Marauders Suck, to Potter Hater #1, and now you're They're-My-Friends-Cami-They-Can-Be-Funny-And-Didn't-You-Used-To-Think-They-Were-Cute. I need stability Lils! And you have to admit, it was a good retaliation on Zinni's and my parts." Lily had to smile at how dramatic her friend was being.

"Yeah, I have to give you credit for that. It was pretty good. But you could have _so_ done better!" She finished, grin wider than ever. "I mean, come on, you pulled better stuff in our fifth year!"

/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\

"_Mr. Potter! Would you like to tell me why I see my students panicking?" McGonagall glared harshly at the back of his irkingly untidy jet black head._

_James whipped his head around and his forehead shouted, "CAMI!"_

_Ah. Ms. Camilla Wellington. This would make sense, considering they only four who were distressed were the Marauders. _

_Their faces looked as though they had been rearranged, eyes where their ears normally were, mouth on their forehead, noses sideways on their chins, and their ears on where their eyes normally were._

_Three disfigured faces were blundering around, stumbling and falling continuously. (One of them, with long black hair was wailing "Noooo! How could she, that—my face, my _beautiful_ face!") A fourth seemed to think wiser of this however, and Mr. Lupin was standing still, trying to get used to his rather different view point._

"_Professor, forgive me for saying so, but you have to admit, this is rather original and creative."_

_Struggling to morph her forming smile into a frown, McGonagall replied with a quick, "Yes Mr. Lupin. Now, what exactly did Cami use as an incantation for this rather original and creative jinx?"_

"_I can't be quite sure, but I think it was _'hey-ahu-mah'_."_

_Smiling in spite of herself (knowing that _rearrumar_ was C'Nisese for _rearrange_), muttered "_Ramurraer_," and the boys' features slid back to their original places._

/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\

"I still say you could have made it harder to remove though. I mean, remember Sirius?! _Oh no, not my face, anything but my face, as long as it isn't my ever important di_—"

"Woah Lils, keepin' it F.Y.A., aren't we?"

Lily and Cami turned to glance at Sirius who had apparently been listening on amusedly.

"F.Y.A.? What exactly does that stand for?"

"First Year Appropriate," he stated dismissively. "And my voice was _not_ that high pitched!"

The two girls laughed and Cami breathed "Pshh chya it was!"

For some reason, Sirius found this incredibly girly, and shot his arm out, snapping his wrist down and said in a fake sticky voice, "O.M.G., like, come _on_ girlfriends! Let's, like, goooo!"

For several moments there was silence as the three stood before the Fat Lady's portrait.

But the two girls burst into rosaceous laughter, their laughter reverberating against the walls. After a while, Sirius dropped his arm and joined in.

They laughed and laughed and laughed, but none laughed as hard as Cami, who had fallen on the floor.

So prolonged was this laughter, that not only had they forgotten why they were laughing, but one by one, curious heads had poked out of the portrait, resulting in a crowd.

Amongst the first to join this impromptu gathering was James, who was shortly after followed by Zinni, whose eyes crinkled into a smile as she murmured "E, eu achei que eu havia reconhcido as vozes deles…" **("Ah, I thought I had recognized their voices…") **

Two of the last people to shuffle along however, were Juniper and Remus, who both had a different book in their hands (Juniper was using her index finger to save her place in _Black and White_, and Remus was lugging _Inkheart _along beside him). Upon realizing who was causing the noise that interrupted their feverent reading, they too gave a few soft chuckles before returning to the Common Room to continue being bookworms.

Eventually this laugh riot had to be broken up by a very stern McGonagall who James distinctly heard mutter "Black and Cami, spiking Lily's drink… honestly…"

/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\

As the first Quidditch match of the year was edging closer, James and the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team immersed themselves into practice. They could _not_ lose to Slytherin...

In fact, although the girls growing closer to the other Marauders, they didn't have the chance to do so with James, who was drowning in Quidditch practice and homework (despite Remus' loyal homework help).

Sirius was incredibly excited that he would get to commentate again this year—last year he had been banned by "ye fair maiden Mickey" for 'irrelevant and inappropriate' comments. The Hogwarts public didn't know whether they should be celebrating or dreading his return to the commentator's stand…

**And so, the day of the game, at the pitch…**

Normally, Gryffindor didn't play against Slytherin for their first game (or vice versa) because of the inevitable blood match that was bound to occur.

The upcoming match became more and more anticipated, Slytherins decking out in green and silver weeks before the match—they weren't fast enough for Gryffindor, though. Gryffindors had been known to be seen in only scarlet and gold for a month and a half, even Lily, who ignored all reminders that it clashed horribly with her hair.

"And onto the field come… GRRRRRRYFFINDOR! Oh, COME ON fellow Gryffies, you can be louder than that! Let's try it again, JAMES, GET YOUR TEAM'S BUTTS OFF THE PITCH! WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU A REAL WELCOME!"

"Mr. Black!" McGonagall scolded shrilly as the beaming Scarlet-clad team scuffled back out of sight. "Do _not_ make me regret our choice for commentator!"

"Aww Mickey, come on, they've practiced so hard, let them get the reward they deserve, eh?"

McGonagall sent him a last warning glare before settling back into her seat.

"One more time, HEEERE'S GRRRRRRYFFINDOR!" This time, the thunderous roar was even louder, accompanied by most Ravenclaws and some Hufflepuffs, altogether masking Slytherins hisses and boos.

"Chaser James Potter, my best mate, Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, and all around excellent Quidditch player, followed by fellow Chaser Anya Weatherby, pretty hot, I went out with her in Third Year—"

"_Mr. Black!"_

"What? Oh, I'm sorry Mickey, don't worry, I still love you." Ignoring Mcgonagall's indignant look, he continued, "Here's our third Chaser, Frank Longbottom, great Chaser… Ah, here's our first Beater, Caradoc 'Smasher' Dearborn, keep away from him when he has his bat folks… and here we have our other Beater, Elizabeth 'Liz' Brown, brilliant Beater, not bad Chaser, moderately hot, doesn't talk to me anymore. Oh sh—"

"MR. BLACK!"

"I was going to say shoot, professor. As I was saying, oh _shoot_—Mickey, you need to trust me more or it'll never work between us—I shouldn't have commented on her hotness when she has her Beater's bat."

And indeed, "Liz" had thrown her bat in the direction of the commentator's stand and had to retrieve it.

"Our Keeper, Devon Creevy—never lets the Quaffle in, that guy… he can be kinda scary, with all his cheerfulness, honestly… And of course, our Seeker, Alice Prewitt, who is also fairly hot—Sorry Frank—but yeah, Excellent Seeker, going with Frank right now, that's why he's looking at me like that. We're gonna beat the sh—"

"_MR. BLACK!"_

"Er… that one I can't cover up, Mickey, could you ever forgive me?!" Sirius was seen to actually bat his eyelashes at his Professor while throwing his arms towards her as though asking for a hug.

With a sigh that Lily recognized as one of exasperation, she said "Just continue, Mr. Black."

And with a mutter of finding someone else to do 'this godforsaken job', "Mickey" excused herself, leaving Sirius rather unsupervised.

"This will be interesting," Lily murmured with a hint of a smile in her voice to Cami, Juniper, and Zinni.

Now without an adult to refrain him, Sirius took up, "We're so going to beat the _shit_ out of you Slytherin. Sorry. _Not!_ Anyway, here come the Slytherins… KEEP IT BLOODY DOWN OVER THERE," he bellowed unnecessarily at the Slytherin side of the pitch, which was cheering albeit not nearly as loud as the Gryffindors' had been, "IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO WORKED HARD YOU KNOW! Like it'll do you any good…" He muttered the last part under his breath, but seeing as his voice was being amplified, it didn't go unnoticed by the Slytherins.

"_MR. BLACK!!_" Apparently, it didn't go unnoticed by Mickey either, as McGonagall's shrill cry came from the teachers' stand.

In the next three minutes, Sirius was again under the severe, watchful glare of Professor McGonagall, and a Profanity-Proof charm had been placed on him.

"Captain Jaminson Cried of Slytherin," Sirius droned, void of the excitement that had been radiating from his earlier speech.

"It's _Jonathon Clyde_, Mr. Black."

"Right Mickey. Anyway, after J. Ply'd, it's Lucinda Bad-boy—"

"_Lucius Malfoy." _McGonagall spoke in a vehement hiss…

"Mm-hmm… Well here's Jackie Amy—"

"Jackson Avery!"

"… Loose Knot—"

"_Bruce Nott!"_

"—Leg Boil…"

"GREG GOYLE"

"Narcissist Black,"

"_NARCISSA! NARCISSA BLACK!"_

"--and last and certainly least, Seeker Regular Black."

"_REGULUS! HIS NAME IS REGULUS BLACK!"_

Throughout the entire time Sirius' voice had been dull and devoid of any emotion (excluding, perhaps, boredom), but his mouth had slowly curved into a mischievous smile.

Voice suddenly bright and cheerful, Sirius exclaimed "Let's get the game started then, shall we?!"

This was met with a roaring explosion of cheers. "I'd missed his commentary!" Remus shouted over the cheers to the girls. Peter was missing.

"All right, everybody shut up." Sirius' voice suddenly snapped, echoing in the pitch. But, thinking he was kidding, everyone just cheered louder.  
"I said, SHUT UP!"

Everyone was taken aback. "What the…" a confused fourth year muttered.

But Professor Voei was already at the middle of the pitch, waiting to start the game.

Sirius' voice once again rang through the stadium, "Now are you ready to play the game?"  
"NO!" Was the angry reply from Slytherin. Someone had suddenly gave the Slytherin Captain a purple tail that fell to the ground, yellow ears that were each bigger than his actual head, and his face seemed to be painted red and gold. But he was also frozen… Professor Voei quickly ran to his side, and declared, "Why, he seems to be solid gold and garnet!"  
Ignoring this, Sirius repeated, "I said, ARE YOU READY TO PLAY THE GAME?!"  
"YEAH!" came the laughing voices of the red and gold mass that created the Gryffindor spectators.

Unfortunately, McGonagall made Sirius, Cami, Lily and Juniper ("I am shocked at you two!") change Clyde back to normal.

"The Game," Rang Sirius' voice.  


"Playing to survive,  
Aiming to win, anyway they can"

At this, Professor Voei just told them to begin the match, and Regulus' (slightly squeaky) voice was heard throughout the pitch, exclaiming, "We go' win!"

But James shouted back, "Beat us? You-- you little guys?" trying not to laugh, he continued "In yo' wildest dreams, you ain't ever seen no team like I got…"

After the words _'I got… I got…"_ stopped echoing off the walls, a steady 1,2… 1,2, 1,2,3,3 beat began **(Sorry, I couldn't think of a better way to describe it!) **and Sirius spoke again:

"Yo, yo  
Pass the ball, final casting call" Anya… to James… to Frank… to Anya again, who drops it, only to be caught by James… who gets past Narcissa, the Keeper, who begins shouting at him.  
"This is verbal Quidditch-- cha!"

Clyde… to Malfoy… to Avery… who drops it, to be caught by James, who gets a Bludger (from Goyle) to the face!

"Off the bat, smash your jaw"

But he's fine, and passes to Frank … to Anya… back to James… to Frank again… returns to James… back to Anya… who scores another two points for Gryffindor!  
"Too fast for y'all"

Alice zoomed in a blur past Regulus, who wobbled on his broom, almost being unseated.

"You might take a nasty fall!"

Sirius didn't seem to mind the idea of his brother falling from his broom—on the contrary; he looked rather put-out when Regulus found his way back onto his broom.  
A hour and a half later, Gryffindor was winning, 120-0. (Sirius hadn't been kidding when he said Devon never let the Quaffle in.)

The Slytherins were becoming increasingly desperate, so desperate in fact, that Goyle and Nott didn't seem to care if they hit a human or the Bludger, and Nott hit Anya on the side of the head, knocking her off of her broom. Professor Voei blew her whistle and called out "Foul!"

"FOUL BALL!

All breath, no physical contact!  
Bounce back, demonstrate invincible bomb raps,  
Not no hustler no player or speakin no crime crap.  
I'm vocally trying to score before my time lapse…"

A very angry James glared over at Goyle, Nott, and the entire Slytherin team in general, and shouted,

"Bring on the opposition,  
Cause my position is to shut you down!

Pass me the rock; I know just what to do with it.  
It's real vivid, I pivot, through the sky…" and he scored another point!

The score now 130-0 for Gryffindor, the Slytherins were all screaming at little Regulus, "JUST GET THE SNITCH!"

And he wasn't failing for lack of trying, he zoomed jerkily around the pitch, looking for the winged golden ball…

But Alice had had the Snitch in arms reach several times, and only wanted to prolong the game to watch the Slytherins' faces.

James, although enjoying their expressions as much as all the other Gryffindors, was getting tired and hissed to Alice, "Seriously, just get it…" before flying off again. Anya… to Frank….to James… to Anya… to James… to Anya again…. To Frank… someone better score soon… to Anya… _again_ to Frank… who finally gets it through the hoops!

Malfoy… to Avery… to Clyde… to Malfoy… to Avery, who drops it, it's caught by Frank, who gets a Bludger from Nott and… he drops it as well, to be caught by Clyde… to Malfoy… who shoots…

You could practically hear the _miss, miss, miss, miss, miss…_ mental chant from Gryffindor, and you actually did hear Cami scream "MISS, MISS, MISS, MISS!"

For the first time that day, the Quaffle flew through the Gryffindor hoops, although many believed that if Devon hadn't just been knocked off his broom by a particularly nasty Bludger from Goyle it would have never happened.

In the process of knocking over Devon, however, Goyle's bat hit Alice who had been about to snatch up the Snitch…

"Foul!"

James, once again infuriated that one of his team members had been injured shouted,

"Show me the rock, so I can show these fools what I got."

Sirius' voice rang through the pitch again, "He's heating up!"

"Forget that, I'm flaming hot,  
Verbally take you to the Quidd pitch, and wreck shop  
Turn my game up a notch, pass me the rock!  
1 on 1, 3 on 3, 5 on 5, horse, 21,  
It really don't matter cause son you'll still get done!"

Sirius called out once more, "Yo, you should know better than try to barter with this globetrotter."

"Malicious, vicious dunks, 'cuz I'm James Potter!" and sure enough, he had 'dunked' the Quaffle into the left hoop.

Malfoy… to Clyde… to Avery… to Malfoy… to Avery again, who tosses the Quaffle in…. through the Slytherin hoops! 160-10 for Gryffindor.

James… to Anya… to Frank… to James… to Frank… to Anya… who shoots... and SCORES!

And just after the game started up again, Alice spotted the Snitch. She zoomed forward into a dive, Regulus gaining on her…

They both tumbled from their brooms, both of them reaching out their hands and making a snatching motion… and the glinting gold was hidden from view.

Everyone looked frantically towards the two Seekers, trying to tell who had caught it…

On Regulus' face was an expression of the utmost surprise. Alice was still rolling, and when she stopped she looked up with a face of disappointed acceptance.

Slytherin was cheering loudly—and so was Gryffindor.

"GRYFFINDOR WINS AND SLYTHERIN CAN'T ADD!" rang Sirius' triumphant voice through the stands.

With one last amused glance towards Clyde, James said,

"My squad's supreme  
So I don't need Clyde or the dream…  
Next time you play the game boy pick a better team!  
Your choice is short when you play this fly sport  
But my mental cohorts is 'bout to change the whole sport."

**Once our lovable Captain deflated his head a bit…**

Lily, Juniper, Cami, and Zinni were sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room. But they weren't alone. The Marauders (minus Peter) were accompanying them while they roasted Muggle marshmallows in the Common Room fire.

"These are really, really sticky…"

"But they make up for it with having extreme awesomeness." Zinni replied, grinning at Sirius.

"Mmmm, soo gooood…" Lily mumbled through the gooey white mess.

It was nice to see that all of her friends got along so well; Zinni being retarded with Sirius, Cami being random and scaring James every so often, Juniper and Remus looking on with interested smiles, and Lily, eating her marshmallows in content silence.

"So, Cami," Cami was saying to the air beside her, "how many marshmallows do you want?"

Shifting over so she was now facing where she had just been, she said—

"Hmm, well Cami, I'm not sure. How many are _you_ having?

"Actually, that's why I asked you—I don't know how many I want.

"Maybe we should ask Cami. Yeah, she'll know.

"CAMI!" Cami and Cami bellowed the last sentence, causing James to start.

"Cami! Cami! You two need to keep it _down_!" Lily quietly shouted. "Do you want to have to share with the entire House?"

Cami, Cami and the newly arrived Cami all gasped. "No! We could never share our limited supply of white fluffy wonders!" Cami said rather dramatically, gesturing vaguely towards the quite large pile of marshmallow bags that lay before them.

"Anyway," Cami said to Cami and Cami, "I think we should each have five marshmallows.

"Works for me.

"Me too!

"Kay then, I gotta go, so 'bye!

"'Bye!"

A confused Sirius turned to Zinni. "Okay, how many Camis just left?"

"One," Cami, Cami, Zinni, Lily, Juniper and Remus assured him in unison. While the six laughed at their friend's confusion, James stage whispered to his best mate, "Don't worry, I don't understand them either."

**A/N: I got a PM from CLS4ever telling me that the Marauders and the girls didn't hang out enough to actually be friends. So, THANK YA 'S', I'll try to work on that! **

**I need to thank my psychiatrist (yes I actually have one, I'm not trying to be funny) for giving me the multi personality disorder idea.**

**I need to thank my dad for helping me with the Quidditch parts as I'm useless to all sports.**

**I need to thank J.K Rowling for inventing the Harry Potter series so I can have Lily Evans as my hero. I'm serious. Sad, but true.**

**When I first started this story, I had a plot bunny farm. They were those cute little white ones, just hopping around in their hutch. But that conniving plot-bunny-hunter dude came and killed like fifty of them. There are only three cute little white bunnies now, and they're the ones who're always running away from me. There is one other bunny though. It's speckled black orange and brown and no matter what I am going to keep that bunny safe. I have BIG plans for it.**

**Got a song request? Post a review.**

**Got a plot bunny request? Post a review.**

**Wonder what the **(Insert choice curse word here)** am I talking about? Post a review.**

**Want some Girl Scout cookies? POST A REVIEW, BECAUSE I GOT ALL THE FLAVORS HERE!**

**Seriously, I need those reviews.**

**From your Evil Little Nerd**

**aka**

**Luci**


	9. The Announcement

**AHM chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: Do I even need to tell you?**

**A/N: (WARNING- I SHALL NOW GIVE A HAPPY RANT ABOUT MY REVIEWS/ REVIEWERS. EXTEME RANDOM-NESS MAY DAMAGE BRAIN. IF YOU WISH THIS TO NOT HAPPEN, SKIP THE BOLD.)**

**WOOT! I'm hyper off those Girl Scout cookies (no one asked for one!), not to mention the marshmallows and Goldfish crackers. Anyway, as I type this sentence, it is three days after I posted that last A/N rant. All I can say is, SEVEN DOWN, FIFTEEN MORE TO GO! **

**Can I get an 'AWESOME'?! Too bad, I'll give one to myself. AWESOME! See? Well, I realize that chapter eight, though long, was really just a filler chapter. Sorry. Hopefully when I actually write this chapter it'll come out better.**

**To GoldenFeather: Thanks for the insight, and sorry, I didn't know it was against the rules.**

**To Gemma: A very sincere thank you and Girl Scout cookies (unless you don't like them)! Talk about a confidence boost! I'm writing this before the quota of twenty-two reviews mainly based on your review. And sorry for not taking any diseased computers into thought (lol!). I really should have, as my computer went through that stage. (By the way, I doubt any one actually knows what the review tab thingy's official name is. ;) )**

**To x-OneWiish-x: I won't, sorry for the dramatics. I was just, as I said, frustrated.**

**To ANGELINA'S SLEEPING BEAUTY: I know who you are! LOL I can't believe you posted a review, but thanks.**

**To Komel: Thanks for being the first reviewer! (and don't forget the jelly. :D)**

**One last warning—this isn't going to be an elaborate chapter. It's just a quick fill-in while I brainstorm.**

**READ ON!**

In the excitement, no one noticed the figure flattened against the wall, lurking in the shadows.

No one noticed the plump figure trying (and failing) to be inconspicuous.

The only reason he remained unnoticed was the Marauders and RF4E were too absorbed in their laughter and enjoyment. They'd never notice the hurt that was filling this round body, the feeling of an outcast.

How could they, when they didn't understand the figure's need to have friends, his emotions of being unwanted.

Sure, Remus James and Sirius were nice… enough… but Remus was nice to everyone. James had an obvious glint of pity, even behind the exasperation. Sirius was only bearable because of the other two.

The barely hidden figure thought back to the offer he had gotten before the Quidditch match… he could have real friends, not just friends that pitied him.

His mum had told him so before.

Ignoring how lame it sounded in his mind, he made to tiptoe upstairs, but stumbled.

Luckily, James had just said something funny, as he often did, and the group's laughter blanketed the sound of his fall.

The conspicuous shadow sighed—he'd almost hoped to be caught, to be welcomed, even if it was only in pity.

But in Divination Professor I. M. Afaike **(pronounced: a fake ;D)** had said that one day he would have great glory, would be a formidable wizard, once he had made the right choice in friends.

Then again, Professor Afaike had also told the class that Bellatrix Black would marry James…

Surely even a Seer makes mistakes, right?

Telling himself he would officially join his new friends tomorrow, he started up the staircase.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Outside of the castle altogether, an eerie green light (barely) filtered through the trees' canopies, lighting a small clearing.

Fifteen or so cloaked figures stood in a circle as though waiting for something. They all stood still, not a single murmur passing amongst themselves.

Suddenly, what they were obviously waiting for appeared with a crack and a burst of green smoke.

A somewhat handsome man was now in the middle of their circle. He was only somewhat handsome because the obvious sadistic air of him was quite intimidating.

"Hello, my young, brave Death Eaters. I have been informed that there may be a new person to join us? And there is reason that this newcomer should particularly intrigue my interest?"

A lone cloaked figure stepped forward, "Yes my Lord," a young woman's voice said with a breathless, reverent air. "He doesn't seem quite impressive; in fact he has no real skills that make him worthy of your time, my Lord."

The intimidating man raised his eyebrows coldly. "Oh?" he seemingly politely inquired. His voice was hard.

Another cloaked figure stepped forward—

"But, my Lord, he could be quite an asset. He—" here the young man's voice faltered under the scrutinizing, superior, icy gaze "—he is allies with Potter, Lupin, and the one and only unfaithful Black." He seemed to not be able to speak any longer, and the breathless young woman took up again—

"My Lord—my Lord, the boy can be a double agent. The Mudblood lover is planning on recruiting him, Potter, Black, Lupin, and an actual Mudblood for something secret, my Lord—"

The man raised his hand to cut her off. His face was no longer cold and appraising, but satisfied.

"Very well Bellatrix, Lucius. The Dark Lord is pleased. What is this boy's name?"

"Pettigrew. Peter Pettigrew."

"Bring Pettigrew here tomorrow. The Dark Lord wishes you all farewell."

And as suddenly as he had arrived, he vanished with a pop and a burst of green flames.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\

The next day, in the Great Hall at breakfast…

"Did you see it?"

"Of course I saw it."

"It's going to be so much fun!"

"I bet I'll win."

"You wish. _I'm_ going to win. _I'm_ the one with the talent."

"Oh please."

"You're both morons. The Marauders are entering."

"Aw…"

"The Marauders are gonna win."

"No duh Sherlock."

"What's a Sherlock?"

On all the bulletin boards a new notice had been posted:

**Calling all third years and older:**

**The First Ever Hogwarts Talent Show!**

**Seeing as some of you have taken a liking to making fun of those who have been forced to sing despite the fact that it isn't their talent, we have decided to have a talent show so that these people will have a chance to show us what they really can do!**

**Singers may also join.**

**Auditions shall be held on Halloween.**

**Go to your Head of House to join the sign-up sheet.**

**Signed,**

**Albus Dumbledore**

**Horace Slughorn**

**Minerva Mc Gonnagal**

**Guinevere Arboherb**

**Filius Flitwick**

Just as the gossipers had said, the Marauders were planning on signing up. They were starting a band—James on bass, Remus on drums, Sirius playing the electric guitar and was the lead singer.

Peter decided not to learn to play keyboard—he needed to study or he'd be the first person in a century to be held back at Hogwarts.

The Marauders sounded pretty good, too. Sirius was an okay singer—but the three of them made a mental note to look for a good singing voice. Lily's singing drifted into James' head constantly while they were discussing it, but he was sure the other two would think him biased.

Zinni didn't want to enter. She declared her talent was being random and funny, and said she doubted she would get accepted into the show, despite the girls' encouragement. She really could be quite funny, and they thought she should audition as a comedian.

Juniper said that her talent was making sure Cami didn't burn the school down.

Cami thanked her for the idea.

The rest of the day was spent with three pairs of wary eyes on Cami at all times.

It was hard to keep her away from the torches that lined the hallway…

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**Just a quick update—don't worry, the talent show **_**will**_** consist of more than just musical groups.**

**-rubs hands together evilly-**

**MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
-L**


	10. Talents Uncovered

**AHM ch 10**

**Disclaimer: I seriously don't own it. No, seriously! OF COURSE IT'S NOT MIN—you know what? Fine I created it. What do you mean you don't believe me?! Ugh never mind.**

**A/N: I know, I'm the worst person on the planet, but you haven't met Asia!! See, I have an excuse for not posting a new chapter in a while… I've been visiting another planet, where they value bubble wrap above anything. On this extremely awesome planet, there is this girl named Asia, who is the most conceited, spoiled little brat I've ever met. And yes folks, that includes Poma.**

**It was awful, but not nearly as awful as I was for letting the totally awesome aliens I met there distract me from writing. BUT IT SERIOUSLY DOESN'T HELP THAT THAT GOOSH-DARNED HUNTER KEEPS KILLING MY PLOT BUNNIES!**

The Marauders (the band) spent the next week caring less than usual about their schoolwork (much to Lily's and Remus' annoyance, as they wound up helping with said schoolwork), and focused their energy on deciding what songs they wanted to learn.

Sirius suggested "Ballroom Blitz", a song by a Muggle band called Sweet from third year.

James liked the new song "Surrender" by the Muggle band called Cheap Trick.

Remus' (Muggle) dad was friends with a starting (Muggle) band called Danzig, and Remus liked one of their songs called "Mother".

They compared the sheet music and the lyrics.

First they looked at "Mother". Sirius laughed and James smiled. They both agreed that it was worthy of consideration.

Then they turned to "Surrender". "Eh… it's okay," Sirius said, putting the parchment down, "But this is better!"

And he set the notes and lyrics for "Ballroom Blitz" on the table.

After reading through a bit of the lyrics James looked up, with a cocked eyebrow, at Sirius.

"Your dreams sound very interesting."

Remus seemed to agree as he laughed softly.

"We-ll," Sirius started, dramatically dragging it out so it suddenly had two syllables, "when I used to live in a hell-hole, I heard that—"

At the end of the day, their musical number was set up and they were ready to start practicing the notes.

What they didn't realize was that a fellow Gryffindor of theirs was planning on signing up. And that they meant business.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Guys, shouldn't we be practicing a little more?" Remus asked sending pointed glances towards his band mates one morning. "Halloween's in less than a week…"

"We practiced enough," consented James, though the dismissive wave of his hand and the tone of his voice were a bit too casual to be genuine.

"You mean once?"

"You guys, have you noticed something about the Gryffindor sign-up sheet?" At the two boys' blank looks he sighed, "Oh honestly, Moony, you're supposed to be the smart one!"

"And I am, now what about the sheet?" the stereo-typically wise Marauder demanded as patiently as possible.

James gave a distorted cough, something that almost sounded like "_Br-ragging_" and which the other two ignored.

"We're almost the only upper-classmen who're taking a shot at it. There _is_ a reason for that you know."

One consistently blank face and one face with an amusedly cocked eyebrow looked back at him.

"Dammit, they don't want to try-out 'cause we're too awesome for them."

And Remus was considerably less annoying than before.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

October 31, 1977 arrived and the Great Hall was packed with better decorations than ever seen by the Muggle-Born first years, and students of all Houses who were hoping to be in the first-ever talent show of Hogwarts.

The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were crowded together on the right side of the room, with Slytherins and Hufflepuffs on the left.

"All right," McGonagall began, signaling the Hall to quiet. It did so immediately. "The Auditions will take place in reverse alphabetical order by Houses—Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, then Gryffindor—and then in order of appearance on the sign-up sheet for your House. Once you have showed us a short sample of what you wish to do at the show, you may leave."

The crowd of Gryffindors had different reactions; some were disappointed that they had to go last because they had to wait; some were upset that they couldn't "just bloody get it over with"; some were glad that the Slytherins wouldn't be able to watch their audition; some were disappointed that the 

Slytherins wouldn't be able to watch their audition; and some were even glad to put the audition off further.

After the Slytherins' torturous (or so the Marauders later insisted it was) auditions, the Ravenclaws took their turns, as the Hufflepuffs did after _them_.

The Hall became empty except for the comparatively small (compared to the large group of students that had been there previously) cluster of Gryffindors and the Heads of Houses.

A first year named Eve Chun demonstrated some karate moves (she was a brown belt), a third year named Victoria Swan did a bit of ballet, a couple of second years named Julia Cullen and Ronnie White acted out a portion of a scene from Romeo and Juliet (during which Julia tripped and fell and Ronnie laughed outright at her), a second year named Kristina Horner recited funny poetry, a first year named Brittany Vahlberg played an acoustic guitar and sang about Quidditch and a first year named Brandon Akana was… a mime… in a box…. A seventh year named Lily Evans was called—

"Wait—WHAT?!" the Marauders (minus Remus, who was staring bemusedly up at his Head of House and of course Peter who wasn't even there) called out more or less in unison.

McGonagall raised a single eyebrow at them. "Lily Evans, seventh year, electric flute."

At this, three things were muttered at once.

The first was "_What _kind of flute?" by Sirius.

The second was "Electric _what_?" by Remus.

The third was "Lily plays the flute..?" by the only remaining Marauder present.

"Yes Lily plays the flute," stated the girl herself rather amusedly as she passed the boys, flute in hand, on her way to the stage. "She plays it pretty darn well if she's not mistaken."

"She's modest, too," James replied automatically, the surprised look still on his facce.

She rolled her eyes with a smile and stepped up onto the stage.

Tapping her flute a couple of times with her wand and muttering under her breath (seemingly to give the effect of an "electric" flute when she played), she brought the flute to her lips and….

It was a sound unlike any other.

Her fingers practically flew across the long silver instrument. It seemed as though it was impossible for her to linger on a single note for more than a fraction of a second, and it was beautiful.

"Damn…" James murmured, and the expressions on his friends' faces told him the three of them were following similar trains of thought.

The rush of music slowed and stopped. Lily opened her mouth and began to sing—

"Lend me your ear while I call you a foo-oo-ool…  
You were kissed by a witch one night in the woo-oo-ood,  
and later insisted your feelings were tru-u-ue.  
The witch's promise was comiiing,  
believing he listened while laughing you fle-e-ew."

Again she brought the flute to her lips, and another flow of notes, slower than at first but still rather quick.

McGonagall held up her hand in a signal for Lily to stop, and she complied, looking at her professor hopefully.

"Thank you Miss Evans, you may go."

She nodded, packed her flute up into a black box, and left the Hall.

"Alex Martin," McGonagall called out.

The fifth year went timidly to the stage, conjured three off-white, almost oval-shaped balls, and, without saying a word… began to juggle them?!

But Alex Martin wasn't done yet. No, he—without dropping any of the balls—managed to conjure an actual _unicycle_… to ride on… while juggling….

And he added two more balls.

"Oi…" Remus muttered with the tone of someone who had witnessed something they would have preferred lived their life without seeing.

Once Alex had added five balls, begun to balance a bowling pin on his head, and fall off the unicycle, dropping the "balls" which fell to the floor just after he did. Shattering and splattering the stage, McGonagall, and a good part of the students with a gooey clear and yellow gunk.

Luckily, the Marauders weren't part of this section.

Somehow, the eggs could not be _scourgify_-ed or vanished, so the auditions had to be postponed until the next day.

"Guys, we need Evans," the grey-eyed Marauder whispered urgently to his band mates on the way to the common room.

Remus feverently agreed, and though James was silent, the other two knew he didn't want otherwise.

"Now how the hell are we going to convince her to be a 'Marauder'?"

A pause in both conversation and walking before the three started up again and Sirius muttered "Good luck Prongsie-poo."

"First of all, I told you not to call me that. Second; screw you," was James' near- whispered response.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**A/N: In case you were wondering, the song Lily played was Witch's Promise by Jethro Tull (a.k.a., THE DERANGED LEPRECHAUNS! Lol, you have to see them to get it).**

**I know, I'm absolutely horrible. BUT, to make up for my way overdue update, I shall introduce you to **_**two **_**amazing worlds (which, admittedly, you may already be familiar with). **

**Recently I have discovered Wrock (Wizard Rock), and that is world number one. My recommendations would be The Moaning Myrtles (And Then I Died, Holiday Revenge, Prefects Are Hot, Don't Throw That Book), The Remus Lupins (Alone on Valentine's Day, Young Sirius Black's Motorcycle, Proud, Give Up the Ghost) (though I'm not too glad with the RL/LE view they have), The Parselmouths (It's Not Half Bad REMIX, Quidditch is my Favorite Sport, Voldemort Fangirl), The Whomping Willows (Ginny's A Punk Rocker, Covah Yr Junk, Photosynthesis Rocks, Your Flying Car). Check out their MySpaces for free downloads, tour dates, free samples, etc.**

**World number two is Twilight. The series, I mean. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and, come August, Breaking Dawn. Bella Swan has to move to the rainy small town of Forks, Washington with her dad. There she meets Edward who has a secret—he's a Vampire. But don't worry peoples, he's definitely cool (a "vegetarian"). And romantic. And brave. And possibly perfect at everything. She faces evil vampires, hormonal teenage werewolves, boy drama… the works. Action packed and DEFINITELY Harry-Potter-Fan-friendly.**

**Twilight FanBands (not as catchy as Wrock, I know) I suggest are The Bella Cullen Project (VampWolf, Switzerland, What's Wrong With Him?) and Bella Rocks! (What's Up With All These Forks Boys?!). They're on MySpace too.**

**I'm really super ultra mega sorry about the inexcusably late update, and I'm planning on posting much faster next time.**


	11. Lily & the Marauders

**A/N: I am tired. Details after chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I know I don't own it, you know I don't own it, we all know it's not mine and I'm merely borrowing it for a couple hours.**

* * *

"Can't you make this easier for me?!" James cried desperately that night in the Head Common Room.

"No," Lily said simply, heading towards the bathroom to brush her teeth. "It's fun listening to you beg."

"You're a cruel woman, you know that Lilikins?"

At James' words, she spun around and took a few steps toward him, twirling her toothbrush with her fingers. "You're in serious danger of me permanently harming you."

"For no reason?!"

"If anyone asks it was a provoked attack."

"What provoked it?"

"You," she replied, once more starting towards the bathroom.

"Well obviously," he retorted, following her, knowing she had already taken a shower judging by her wet hair.

"If it was so obvious why did you have to ask?" and a single ginger eyebrow rose.

"URGH! What did I do to provoke an attack?"

"You called me a name I hate. _Purposely_." She squirted toothpaste onto her toothbrush and ran it under the sink for a moment.

"You're determined to make this impossible aren't you?" He sighed, sitting on the counter.

"According to my 'sources', the Marauders '_need_' me. Therefore, Remus and/or Sirius will keep sending you back till I'm convinced."

She scrubbed at her teeth.

"You're a cruel woman."

She spat.

"You're quite repetitive."

She scrubbed at her tongue.

"Good point. Now: please."

She spat.

"No."

She rinsed.

"Please?" he repeated, following as she left the bathroom.

"No." She went into her room, grabbed her copy of _Knife's Edge_, returned to the Common Room, plopped onto the couch, and opened to the page she had marked with a quill.

"_Please?_" Sephy was singing with her band…

"_No_." Hard objects were being thrown at Sephy…

"Puh-_lease?_" Sephy was bleeding while performing…

"No." Sephy was passing out…

"PLEASE ON AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE WITH CHOCOLATE FROGS AND STUFF ON TOP?!" Sephy was—

Lily paused, eyes leaving the book for the first time, and looked to be thinking something very serious over…. "What kind of ice cream?"

James was thoroughly surprised by this answer. "Well… what kind of ice cream do you like?"

"My favorite Muggle flavor has to be Raspberry Sherbet, but wizarding… I don't know, probably Newt Mint with Banana." Sephy was abandoned by Lily.

James seemed to be questioning her sanity. Or at least it seemed so judging by his expression. "Er… Seriously?"

"Yeah," she shrugged.

"You're odd."

"No, really?" her two green eyes rolled and her voice was dripping in sarcasm. Picking up _Knife Edge_ once more…

"Well, yes. Not as odd as that Ravenclaw bloke though… what's his name? Xeno… something?"

Once more, Lily's gaze left the book. "How did we get from you begging and pleading to talking about Xenophilius Lovegood?"

"Which reminds me: _please?_" He dragged the last word out dramatically, causing Lily to laugh.

"_No_," she remained, still laughing.

"You still haven't given me a good reason as to why you shouldn't."

The laughter ceased immediately.

"You still haven't given me a reason as to why I should."

"Zinni told Sirius that you always wanted to have a band when he asked her about your flute."

"Zinni and _Sirius_?" she asked, a shocked and disgusted look falling across her face as she inwardly cursed and purposely skirted the subject.

"You know it's not like that and you know that it's true, and you know that if it was Remus you'd have given in by now." Lily couldn't be sure, but she thought she heard a shade of pain in his voice.

She sighed, closing her eyes as she did so. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she was just having fun messing with him but now….. His hazel eyes seemed to enlarge in frustration and… was that _sadness?!_ The hazel couldn't be so damned _sad_, it was unnatural.

She had to rid them of the sadness.

Unknowing to the reason, she opened her eyes and her mouth.

"One condition; I am _not_, under _any_ circumstances, becoming a _Marauder_," she shuddered at the very thought. "So the name changes."

James' expression changed from pained to shocked, and then the trademark "James Potter Grin" graced his face.

He opened his mouth—

"Nieh!" she exclaimed sharply. "Watch it…" she muttered dangerously, and her glare was so venomous that his grin changed to more of a grimace.

"Well... er… we could ask Moony and Padfoot about the name tomorrow…. It's a Saturday…" he mumbled awkwardly.

He had managed to avoid that frightening glare for so long, and there it was, back and poisonous as ever.

But she was happy, because the hazel was.

And Lily returned to learn more about what happened to Sephy…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"The Acid Quill?" James suggested feebly.

"Dunno where you got that one, mate, but I don't think it's really all that awesome," his best friend replied with a cocked eyebrow and a grin.

"The Gryffindors?" Remus threw in.

"Like it, but not enough," Lily stated matter-of-factly.

"I dunno Lily-flower," Sirius disagreed. "It's what we are."

"Imagine a band of Slytherins named _'The Slytherins'_."

"As good a warning label as any I'd say."

"Or Ravenclaws: 'The _Ravenclaws_'?"

"Nerdy yet hot."

"Oh that's nice."

"And true," he shrugged as though she was missing something painfully obvious, but he didn't want to rub it in.

"Mmm-hmm, whatever."

"Can we focus?" Remus asked, eyebrows raised pointedly with an amused smile.

"Me? I don't know what you're implying; I am most certainly _the_ most focused person to ever walk these halls!" Sirius placed his hand on his chest as though mortally insulted.

"Of course you are, most-inappropriately-named-Sirius," James smirked at his best friend.

Lily rolled her eyes at the pair. "Come on, we've _got_ to think of something before dinner!"

"Why can't we just be the Marauders," Sirius whined.

"Hell'll freeze over before I become a Marauder," Lily insisted, shaking her head stubbornly.

"Snape'll wash his hair before we teach you how," Sirius shot back, obviously joking and sticking his tongue out childishly.

"Seriously though," James interjected, "it _would_ be easier if we just stayed the Marauders, Lily."

And an obvious metaphorical light bulb went off in Remus' head as. "Well that's it James!"

"No way, Remus!" Lily scowled, frowning at her usually-favorite Marauder.

"No, no… 'Lily and the Marauders'."

The three stared at Remus…

"It's _brilliant!_" Lily beamed.

"And we're still the Marauders," Sirius agreed.

"Great one, Moony," James smiled happily, at the discovery at a new name, or the relief of the debating over, no one exactly knew at the moment.

"Well now we need a song…" Remus muttered, eyebrows raised once more, questioningly this time.

"Well, what type of songs were you looking at before?" Lily asked, purely curiously and business-like.

Remus took out the pieces of parchment they had copied the notes and lyrics to.

She too found "Mother" humorous, even if it was not intended as such.

"Ballroom Blitz" Lily understood, and she commended Sirius for finding it and thinking of it.

"Surrender", Lily had to admit, was her favorite.

"I can definitely sing all of these," she began, smiling. "But I _really_ want to use a song that'll let me use my flute!"

"If you have one, we're willing to see it," James prompted encouragingly.

"Well, there is this _one _song I think you lot'll like…. It's not _meant_ to have flute in it, but I know the notes and I know I can pull it off… and it'll sound _so amazingly, freaking awesome_ with a couple of guitars and a… drum set. Damn!"

"What?" Remus asked, wondering just what was wrong with having a drum set.

"Oh, no the drum's great but… it'd sound _so_ incredible if there was a piano in it…." Groaning, she let her head fall forward onto the table, landing with a rather loud _thud_.

She rested there for a moment before sitting back up and muttering "…_Ow_…" under her breath.

"Sorry, it'll sound fine, it would just sound better if there was a piano in i—OH!" Lily's eyes had suddenly gone wide, and while Sirius and James looked mildly frightened, Remus simply looked curious.

"'Oh' what?" he asked.

"Can any of you play piano?"

Remus glanced at James for a fraction of a second before turning back to Lily, but Sirius said simply, "We need two guitars."

"We can have two guitars, a piano, a drum set, and a flutist. Now please tell me _one_ of you plays the piano?"

There was a pause and a silence, the three boys shooting each other secretive glances.

"I do…" James muttered finally. "I don't like it much. My mum made me learn it... I've been playing pretty much since my fingers were long enough." He grimaced slightly, but then shrugged. "It's not torturous or anything. If my mum hadn't _forced_ me to do it, I'd probably like it."

Lily grinned, (looking impressed,) and suddenly stood, whirled around, and ran up the steps to the girls' common room.

When she came back she was dragging a very surprised and annoyed blonde.

"Cami plays bass. And does so damn well if I say so myself. Which I do. And," she added, "from what I've heard, James, you're pretty damn good at the piano as well."

"I thought you didn't like the piano?" Cami asked.

"I didn't," James shrugged, "but apparently it's not that bad."

"Let's give this a try, shall we?" Remus suggested, cheered considerably.

"But, the name…" Cami protested. "It's not 'Lily and the Marauders' anymore, is it?"

Lily rolled her eyes, at her friend "Oh come on, if there were a female Marauder, it'd be you." She turned to the official Marauders, cocked an eyebrow, and smirked slightly, as though daring them to contradict her.

"Marauder meeting," Sirius shouted nearly-out-of-the-blue.

"Is there such a thing?" Lily called laughingly as Sirius dragged the other two across the room.

"Is now," he called back toward her.

"I dunno guys... Sirius muttered once they were most definitely out of earshot of the girls. "But what d'you reckon?"

"Admit it Padfoot, if she were a guy, Cami'd be as good as one of us. _I_ bet, if _she_ were an Animagi, she'd be a… okay I dunno, let's give her one of those Animagi quizzes or something. I'm curious now…"

"She'd be an awesome sister," Remus agreed.

And so, 'Lily and the 'Marauders'' were formed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Are you _sure _you got it down?" Lily was asking her newfound band mates on their way to dinner. The remaining Gryffindors' auditions were being held just after dinner in the Hall.

"Well I dunno Lils," Cami said in mock curious concern. "We only memorized the notes forward as well as backwards… maybe we should figure out a way for us to play it side-ways, too!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry; it's just… well you saw me the night before last." Lily finished abashedly.

"More like _heard_ you. We had to beg you to play a lullaby, only to be woken up by Miss Flutist Extraordinaire _again_," Cami "complained" good-naturedly.

"I'm used to piling extra pressure on myself for even the most _minor_ performances. I'm definitely _not_ used to sharing it with four other people."

"News for you Lils," Sirius began, "you're the only one nervous about our… _performance_."

"_Don't—call—me—that._" She hissed suddenly venomous.

"But Cami just did!" he exclaimed, shooting her an incredulous look.

"Yeah. So?" Lily shrugged.

"Isn't that kind of ludicrous?" Sirius retorted, glancing at James who glared back.

"Woah Sirsie, big words there. Remus _must _be rubbing off on you," Cami joked.

"Sirsie?!"

"If you can call her Lils, I can call _you_ Sirsie. So, which is it?"

"Lily or Evans, never Lils again, I swear," he lifted his hand, palm up, as though taking a solemn oath as they finally entered the Great Hall.

Zinni was already there, with Juniper on her right. The two of them were surrounded by empty seats. Cami sat next to Juniper and Lily sat next to Cami with an empty seat across her. Across from Juniper, however, was Remus. On Remus' right was Sirius, and on Remus' left side was James.

Thus, Lily was sitting diagonally from James.

Most of the talk was about the newly formed band.

"Is it not strange how the five of you became a band, prepared for your auditioning with _awesome_ songs, in one night, and one day?" Zinni joked.

"Definitely," Juniper agreed, a smile playing on her lips. "We need to check and see if that's a record."

Eventually, the Hall was empty except for a few Gryffindors.

A third year named Gemma Faye read a short story aloud.

"Cami," Lily hissed to the blonde next to her, "fix McGonagall's parchment so instead of 'The Marauders', it says—"

"Got it, aaannnd… _done_."

Lily grinned. "Thanks."

"Lily and the Marauders?" McGonagall called (, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice), shortly after, eyebrows threatening to disappear under her hairline.

They all set up their instruments, Cami and Lily enchanted each instrument to be amplified and "electrocuted" (as James put it) and, when they left the Hall, they were followed with looks of awe, amazement, and other words that begin with the letter 'a' **(and are kind of inappropriate for any young-ish/er readers)**.

It was with a satisfied air that they crawled into each separate bed of theirs, and most dreamed dreams involving music and "rocking out" in an incredibly awesome manner.

_Most._

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

James' Dream

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

An angel stood before him, glowing, smiling and cradling a bundle in her arms.

Her mouth moved, but James didn't understand a word that came out.

She was gorgeous. She was wonderful. She was smart. She was funny. She was sarcastic. She was polite. She was impulsive. She was the entire world's glory wrapped into a gorgeous, glowing, smiling angel.

The bundle in her arms squirmed, and for the first time her jewel-like eyes left his for her to smile down into the bundle. James realized that the bundle in the nameless angel's arms was a baby. It was not wriggling in an uncomfortable manner, quite the opposite in fact.

The baby turned in her arms so as to be looking up into the angel's face and James smiled at the beautiful twin eyes that were locked.

After a long moment the angel looked up again and handed the bundled up infant to James.

It didn't feel strange at all. James realized he had actually been holding his hands out for the baby, and it felt natural.

And then, as though suddenly shocked, the peace and tranquility vanished as though yanked away, and James understood who the angel was, who the baby was, and the sliver of James that knew this was a dream, and could never be more than such, decided he would let this wondrous dream go the way it went because, even if it had to happen in an alternate universe, it _was_ the natural ending, it was the _right_ ending.

Or rather beginning.

James set his wonderful baby down into a playpen that he only just noticed, and rested against the angel, who was now smirking, and let what must have been the beginning of his (no matter how corny it was, or how badly Sirius would never let him live it down) happy ending.

* * *

A/N: Okay, I'd keep going, but I am so immensely tired that I am going to leave it here, the way it is for now. I meant for the dream to be longer, I meant for you to know what happened during the awesome audition (which I got the song for, with all the right instruments, on my iPod just to hear what it sounds like so I could write about it), and I know that I suck, but the only times I write remotely decent is after one. 

And I can't sneak down to the computer till around two, when my parents are officially out like a log. 

So for the past week I've been taking full advantage of FINALLY being on break by coming down here from two A.M. to five A.M. working on this, and then having to be ready for volleyball at ten (at a place that is a hour-long drive. Knowing my mom, it takes two hours to get there, and an hour to actually get OUT of the freaking house).

Wow I sound really lazy.

In case you didn't know this, if I wind up in hell, I'll be playing volleyball non-stop. 

Sorry, I was planning on updating sooner, but my beta couldn't beta this chapter for a while, and I was worried thinking Either it sucks like crap or it's so boring that she couldn't be bothered to read it…

If you have a comment, question, concern, opinion, favorite song, least favorite sport, least favorite parental activity, press the little purple thing that says "Submit Review" and "GO".

That way I don't have to learn Legimancy (probably spelt that wrong but I'm too tired to check) to know what you're thinking so far!

Ultra thanks to Gemma and Goldenfeather for the reviews, and…

TA-DA!! ACTUAL VIRTUAL COOKIES!! (I'm copying these from Jewels5. Also not mine.)

(:) 

(:)

See? Extra chocolate chip.

(If you don't like chocolate chip or are allergic, let me know along with your preference of cookie.)

For loquaciousgirl, my awesome beta, I have... : THE DOUGH!!

Awesome, huh.

I have another volleyball game tomorrow, so I shall post this and sleep…

Zzzz……

-L

JUST REMEMBERED: I just got my first ever copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and read it for the first time (I know—how can I write Marauder Era fiction when I hadn't read the book where the Marauders were introduced?!) and I found out that my story is not cannon.

And that sucks.

So, leave a review telling me whether or not I should go back and fix it.

I can't really tell even when I read it over because it's later than I'm used to and I'm slightly incoherent.

Well that may not be true, but I'm not talking because I'm trying to be quiet and-- OH MY GOSH IT'S SIX (a.m.)!!

Gotta go,

Your resident Nerdfighter,

Evil Little Nerd

Usually Known As (u.k.a)

Luci


	12. Wrestling Match named Luna

**A/N: Not gonna keep you waiting any longer, everything at the bottom.**

**:WARNING: Language**

**Re-cap:**

_**The talent show auditions have passed, as well as Halloween. The girls & the Marauders are more or less friends now. Cami, Sirius, Remus, Lily, and James are in the band. James had a dream about Lily. **_

**xVx**

**Sirius' POV**

**xVx**

"But I'm bored!" I whined.

"I thought you were Sirius?"

"Shut it Pete. Prongs! I'm bored! Don't just sit there writing—wait what're you writing?"

"Music," the messy-haired Marauder said without looking up.

"Of course," I retorted in a totally awesome manner that is so like me and snorted.

Because Prongsie is being a right old git. In case you haven't noticed yet, I'm bored. How can I make something excellent happen?

Ah. I know. I squeezed my eyes shut and bellowed, "HOLY FUCKING CRAP, EVANS GET DOWN HERE!"

There was a sudden pounding down the girl's staircase before a frantic Lily appeared, wand at the ready, in the common room.

"What?! What's wrong, Sirius?!"

"Prongs won't play with me and I'm bored."

Lils' face dripped from worry to shock, before hardening into the most terrifying thing any of any of us had seen all month, including McGonagall's face when we turned a first-year into a ferret (as punishment for taking one of the Restricted Stash Of Marauder's Halloween Candy baskets thinking it was his. No one takes our Restricted Stash Of Marauder's Halloween Candy).

"_BLACK I AM ABSOLUTELY GOING TO MURDER YOU!"_

Lily's ear-piercing shriek echoed in the common room and apparently up to the dorms because students of both genders and all ages trickled curiously downstairs.

Among the first to arrive were Juniper, Remus, Cami and Zinni.

Juniper and Remus cast Shield Charms (and then turned red) at the exact same moment, and Cami ran in between her friend and me.

"DAMMIT! June, Remus, TAKE OFF THE SPELL AND LET ME GET HIM! HE DESERVES IT! I thought someone was bloody _dead!_" Lilyflower screeched.

Dammit, the woman's gonna blow out my eardrums one of these days.

"Well yeah, but you'd get in a lot of trouble for killing a fellow student," Cami pointed out gravely. "I'd go with something just as painful and permanent, but something teachers would think was ridiculous."

Crap.

Lily was still seething, but at least she stopped her freaking shrieking. (Heh, that rhymed.) "Well what do you suggest then Captain Evil?"

Cami smiled at the long forgotten nickname before turning to the two 'smarties'. "Take it off."

Hesitantly, they did as she asked and she ran over to Lily, grinning like a maniac.

By this time I was fucking scared, alright.

"Uhhhh…. Lils? Cams…sies…?"

The two scariest female glares I've ever seen (despite bitchy mother of mines, of course) suddenly turned on me.

James, who had _finally_ stopped writing said (not bothering to hide the fact that he was _laughing_ at me. Me, of all people. Honestly.), "Mate, do you have a death wish?"

At that, both girls smiled evilly at me.

"Oh, no…"

"Much, much worse." Lily finished for her blonde friend.

….

Shit.

**vXv**

**A FEW HOURS LATER IN THE GIRLS' DORM**

**vXv**

**xVx**

**Juniper's POV**

**xVx**

"Lily, don't you think that was a bit of an exaggeration?"

My tempered friend just shrugged at me, trying (and not completely succeeding) to hide a smile, summoning a laugh from 'Captain Evil'.

"Hey, you helped!" I chastised. Honestly, they're going to torture one of Remus' fr—I mean, Sirius. They're going to torture Sirius for yelling overdramatically.

"Well, shit, June. We were fucking bored too, now weren't we?"

This conjured a sudden outbreak of giggles in the dorm. Even Mary was laughing behind her (quite thin) book.

Whatever those two have planned, I feel sorry for Sirius.

**xVx**

**Zinni's POV**

**xVx**

I am quite glad to be imagining what my two _amîs_ are plotting.

I'm sure it will involve much terror on Sirius' part…

Merlin I can't wait!

**xVx**

**James' POV**

**xVx**

Wow. Just… wow.

Padfoot's gonna get himself killed.

Wait, they said no murder. So they're going to kill him… on the inside? Hmmm….

Well still, he's going to die.

…….

Somehow…

**vXv**

**THE NEXT DAY**

**vXv**

We were all outside, near the lake.

And when I say 'all', I mean _the entire freaking school_. Including Dumbledore and the other professors!

Cami stood on the dock, voice already _Sonorus-_ed.

"Ladies, boys, professors, I welcome one and all to the first—"

"And hopefully last," McGonagall interrupted.

"—ever Punishment for Guys by Girls Contest!" she continued, completely ignoring poor Minnie.

And the crowd's bored faces, raised eye brows, and fake-polite-attentive-ness, she rolled her eyes and retorted, "I know, it's not the greatest name in the world BUT THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME! ARE YOU READY?"

A few people actually shouted "Yeah!" but it sounded pretty feeble.

"COME ON! I SAID _ARE YOU READY!"_

This time I joined in, along with the entirety of the audience. Evan Dumbledore shouted a pleasant "_YEAH!_"

"Alright then, let's get started!"

Well that was pretty abrupt.

"Our first event is called Luna."

There was a pause until Zinni screamed "Why?" from my left.

"Cause I bloody like that name, that's why! **(1) **Now let me continue! Okay the rules for the game are this: You can't step outside of the circle," right when she mentioned a circle, she waved her wand and a dark purple rope shot out of it, forming a large one on the grass. "—and no biting. I think that's it, so—oh, sorry, almost forgot; the object is to get your opponent on the ground for over ten seconds. Now, LET'S GET STARTED!"**(2)**

Lily and Padfoot walked to opposite sides of the circle, both grinning menacingly.

Hey that was pretty good. Menacingly, abrupt, feeble… my vocabulary is sounding much more edjamakated! **(3)**

.… Okay I just ruined the smartness.

Anyway, there they were, and I wasn't sure whether I should worry more about my fellow Head or my best friend.

Wow that sounded pretty lame for Sirius…

**xVx**

**Lily's POV**

**xVx**

Being shorter than Sirius, a lot of people were probably worried about me.

What all these people didn't take into consideration was that Sirius probably had rarely gotten himself into a 'Muggle duel'.

Or that I had lived ten years with a sister that would slap me and pinch me incessantly, so not only could I take a hit, but thanks to her (only) cool ex-boyfriend and his friends, I could dish out even more than I could take.

It is _so _on, Black…

**xVx**

**Sirius' POV**

**xVx**

I kinda feel sorry for Lily. I mean, she's going against a guy… in _wrestling_, the manliest of macho-manly sports. And she helped Cami pick out the events…. Wow, she really doomed herself.

I mean, who in their right minds would do that? And everyone thinks she's so smart, but—

But maybe she had a reason?

What if she has a secret weapon?!

_Fuck._

**xVx**

**James' POV**

**xVx**

Padfoot's face just paled a bit and Lily's face has become more… scary.

It's settled then; I'm more worried about Padfoot.

"Anyone putting down bets?"

"LILY—"

"No, SI—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Lily's got a lot of—"

"But Sirius is a guy!"

"Which only proves Lily is gonna win!"

"Three Galleons on Lily!"

"Ten on Black!"

"Fifteen on Lily!"

"Twelve Sickles and three Knuts on Sirius!"

Lilikins suddenly pounced, letting out a war-cry that sounded like "ARRRRGGUH!"

**1) This idea came from charlieissocoollike on YouTube, who named his 08-08-08 gathering "David".**

**2) Okay—Where the heck-ski did you come up with that one Nerd?! I didn't. My summer camp is a scary, scary place. **

**3) Some people here say that instead of "educated", because of this commercial where this guy is like "I stay edjumakated!" instead of "I am educated!" **

**A/N: Alright, that was horrible of me. My latest update ever. :is ashamed:**

**Okay the increase in cursing at Hogwarts is due to increase of my exposure to cursing. (Back To School let's all cuss every five seconds.)**

**Well… leave flames, constructive criticism, reviews, ANYTHING!**

**No song, again, but one in the next chapter! I promise!**

**What will happen to Sirius? What will happen to Lily? What will the next event be? What will its name be?**

**Predictions welcome in reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except "Luna". And the girls… but yeah.**

**Dedication: MY DAD! Thank yous! (He was the inspiration for the PFGBG Contest.) I'd give him cookies, but he doesn't like them. Not even e-cookies. **

…**.**

**MORE FOR AWESOME REVIEWERS!**


	13. Girls Rock Period

**A/N: HAPPY BREAKING DAWN!**

**Once again, everything's at the bottom. Why? 'Cause I like it that way.**

**xVx**

**LILY'S POV**

**xVx**

As I tackled Black to the ground, he let a little "Oof!" escape from his mouth.

I knew there was an evil grin on my face as I jumped up and waited for Sirius to get up. I wanted this to last more than just a couple seconds.

He was too shocked to move at all, so for a good while I just stood there, smirking down at him.

After a while Mr. I'm-so-manly-ha-I-shall-kick-your-arse dude finally comprehended the fact that many, many people were laughing at him, and he stood quickly and really, quite clumsily.

This is going to be so much fun. My gods….

While he staggered, off balance, I leapt once more, this time for his legs, knocking them out from under him.

"_Fuck_ Lily….. What the _hell_."

I got up one more time, but for the first time, He reacted quickly.

Sirius dove for my ankle, stealing my idea.

I jumped out of the way, and when he landed, I put my foot firmly (but not enough to cause too much pain) in between his shoulder blades.

"Give up yet?" I whispered.

"_Hell. No._" I grinned wider and let him up.

He grabbed at my shoulders and I did the same to him…

**xVx**

**SIRIUS' POV**

**xVx**

I should have known… I should have known… I should have known…

I should have bloody _known_!

Well we began pushing at each other, and I was amazed at Lily's strength. I swear she's part-guy or something! She's… she's… she's… MACHO! She's a macho man! But she's not a man.

SHE'S A MACHO MAMA!

…………

Anyway, there we were, shoving each other's shoulders with all our strength, and _finally_ I knocked her down.

I bent down, pushing her shoulders onto the ground and grinned triumphantly.

YAY! SHE'S DOWN!

One dragon's crap, two dragon craps, three dragons crap, four dragons cr—

**xVx**

**LILY'S POV**

**xVx**

I pushed hard with my right hand, not bothering to be gentle any more.

I flipped us over, and quickly, before he even registered what was happening, I sat on him.

Ignoring his struggling, I began to count—one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, eight Mississippi—

"What the—"

**xVx**

**SIRIUS' POV**

**xVx**

I cut her off, saving her some embarrassment of cursing in front of all the professors (though I really don't know why. It would have been amusing to see ol' Sluggy's face, but ah well, such is life) by finally succeeding in pushing her off me.

I'm sure it had been close, but I DID IT!

I was up again and I kind of heard the crowd screaming. I was too busy trying to knock the bugger down! **(1)**

I lunged, and leapt, and dove, and grabbed and pushed, and I have no idea how it happened, but I was on the floor, someone was pulling my hair and _it hurt like fucking hell_.

I was stomach-down (and couldn't move seeing as there was a mysterious weight pushing hard into the middle of my back), but the someone who was pulling my hair made it so that my neck was straining backwards.

**xVx**

**LILY'S POV**

**xVx**

One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi, eight Mississippi, nine Mississippi—

"TEN SECONDS ARE UP AND LILY IS THE WIIINNERRRRRRRRRRRR!"**(2)**

I laughed as I moved away from Sirius and joined my ecstatic, bouncy, shrieking friend.

Putting a _sonorous_ on me, she asked "So Lily, how does it feel to kick major fu—"

"MISS WELLINGTON!'

"CAMI!"

"LANGUAGE!"

and many other chastisements were shouted out at the same time.

"Moving on from that rude interruption," Cami re-started, sounding like one of the commentators of a tennis match or something **(3)**, "how does it feel, Lily, to have beaten Mr. Black?"

"Ah, well Cami, I think the one word to describe it would be—"

But no one got to know what word I was going to use. Because 'Mr. Black' had finally gotten up and had yelled, "No fair! I want a do-over!"

Now, I didn't have anything wrong with that, besides the fact that I was exhausted and didn't want to have to fight again.

"Sirius, we got it, I wrestle better than your _sitzpinkling_**(4)** ar—self. I'm better at Charms and Potions—"

"It's true," Professor Slughorn interrupted me, and Professor Flitwick nodded knowingly, causing me to grin.

"I'm just as good in every other subject, I play better music—"

**xVx**

**Sirius' POV**

**xVx**

Hell no.

Oh, _hell_ no.

Oh _hell _to the fucking _no_.

That bitch did _not_ just diss my awesome. **(5)**

"No, no no no no no no no, _no._ It is _so on_. You can't play the flute, that wouldn't be fair because I can't play it."

That scary grin I have come to know appeared again.

"Well isn't it just great, then, that I know how to play guitar?"

CAN THIS WOMAN DO EVERYTHING?!

**xVx**

**James' POV**

**xVx**

Oh. My. God.

This woman can do everything.

I wish Padfoot would shut up. He has no idea how many people are losing (and earning) money over this.

**vXv**

**HOURS LATER**

**vXv**

**xVx**

**Cami's POV**

**xVx**

Heh. I'm so glad Black screamed bloody murder yesterday. It finally gives me something to fucking _do_.

Ah, if only he knew the extensive talents of our very own Miss Evans.

**xVx**

**Sirius' POV**

**xVx**

All I knew was that I would play my special "electrocuted" guitar for a song and sing, then Lily would do the same.

And the winner wins. Final.

Dumbledore, Mc Gonnagal and (get this) Cami would be the judges.

Once we had gotten everything set up, Cami just briefly said, "And here's Sirius," before telling me to start.

"Every morning I wake up just the same  
Another victim of ordinary fame  
I don't see myself as invincible  
It's not true at all

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Trying to save the world, but never really sure  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Nothing more than that, that's all I really am

"Just a day job that's someone's gotta do  
It's kinda hard when everyone looks up to you  
Try to make it look easy, gonna make it look good  
Like anybody would

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Trying to save the world, but never really sure  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Nothing more than that, that's all I really am

"I'm just like everybody else  
After all the hype it's hard to tell  
I keep my game face on so well

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
I'm trying to save the world  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero

"Trying to save the world  
I try to hide my true identity  
But no one knows it's only me

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Trying to save the world, but never really sure  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Nothing more than that, that's all I really am

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
I'm trying to save the world  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Trying to save the world, but never really sure  
I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero  
Nothing more than that, that's all I really am

"I'm just your average ordinary everyday superhero…"

**xVx**

**Lily's POV**

**xVx**

How self-conceited can you be?

Ah well, Cami announced me, and it was my turn. As I got on stage and used the same guitar that Sirius had, and let the best I could muster rip.

"Hey!

"Ready for the big time, ready for the small  
Whatever's comin' to me, I'll be ready for it all  
Sometimes it ain't easy, sometimes it's not polite  
Some days I don't get it, some days I get it right

"It's in my heart, it's in my head  
Thats what I said

"Hey Boys are you ready for the shock  
I'm livin proof, the girl can rock  


Spread the news around every single block  
Hey boys, the girl can rock

"Standin' in the spotlight workin' up a sweat  
Givin' all I got and lovin' what I get  
I can't hold back what I feel inside  
and if I make you nervous, you better step aside

"It's in my heart, it's in my head  
Thats what I said

"Hey Boys are you ready for the shock  
I'm livin proof, the girl can rock  
Spread the news around every single block  
Hey boys, the girl can rock

"The girl can rock

"Don't say maybe or call me 'baby'  
I ain't crazaaay...at all!

"It's in my heart, it's in my head  
Thats what I said

"Hey Boys are you ready for the shock  
I'm livin proof, the girl can rock  
Spread the news around every single block  
Hey boys, the girl can rock

"Hey Boys are you ready for the shock  
I'm livin proof, the girl can rock  
Spread the news around every single block  
Hey boys, the girl can rock

"I'm gonna live it up  
I'll never give it up  
I'm gonna spread the news around the block  


It ain't no shock...the girl can rock  
the girl can rock ,the girl can rock

"Yeah, Rock!"

And _that_, my friend, is how it's done.

**A/N: ACK there is so much more I want to do, but I want to get this up **_**today**_**!**

**And I have to get up at six tomorrow—a **_**Saturday**_**—for, guess what?**

**How'd you know it was volleyball?!**

**Totally off topic—no L/J action **_**at **_**all.**

**Ah well.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own crap. Well, I do, but not **_**this**_** crap. Harry Potter belongs to J. K. R. (as if you need reminding), "Ordinary Superhero" belongs to Smashmouth (I think), "Girl Can Rock" belongs to Hilary Duff.**

**1) Sirsie doesn't want to curse out his best mate's love of his life!**

**2) Ridiculously short fight scene, but at my camp things get very…… er….. **_**bad**_**, and I edited all **_**that**_** out.**

**3) No offense. The ones I listen to are **_**so**_** mono-tonus though!**

**4) A word I got from An Abundance of Katherines (by John Green). It means (and I quote), "A German word, slang for 'wimp,' that literally means 'a man who sits to pee.' Those wacky Germans—they've got a word for everything."**

**5) Okay, scratch footnote 1 then…**

**Dedications:**

**Loquaciousgirl, for being my beta and best friend.**

**John Green, for writing an Abundance of Katherines and starting Brotherhood 2.0.**

**Hank Green, for being awesome.**

**Cookies to reviewers!!**


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